Episode # 178. When you’ve got your business going and money coming in, sometimes it’s hard to see the money blocks still holding you back from abundant success. To shine a light on your money personality and its effect on your business, wealth and abundance coach Emily King has joined us today. Emily and I dig into all things money, savings, taxes and more in this episode. Listen in now to reframe the way you think about money in your business!
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- How to find the hidden money blocks that are holding you back
- What your money personality is and how it affects your success
- The key to working with your money archetype
- How to make savings more fun and less about deprivation
- Fun strategies to take dismantle your money blocks
- Tricks to reframe taxes, unexpected bills and more!
“It was taking away the judgment on what I could and couldn’t have, and realizing that in spending money and having fun with it, that was actually getting me into an abundant, feel-good energy with money.”
“In the moment, it’s not the most fun thing to be told, ‘Hey, we told you your tax bill was $10,000, but it’s actually $20,000. Surprise!’ Have your moment to be like, this sucks. But then, on the flip side of that, have that moment be like, ‘Okay, what else could this mean? Besides, I now have money to give out, this means I did better than I thought! This means that my business took off.’”
More About Emily:
Emily King is a wealth & abundance coach for entrepreneurial women and the founder of The Rich Woman signature coaching program. Since 2015 she’s worked with 100’s of women to help them create a loving relationship with money so they can massively increase their income and impact. Armed with an MBA and certifications as an NLP practitioner, timeline therapist and Pilates instructor (yes–all those things!), Emily brings the perfect mix of manifesting-woo and business chops to the table to help women across the world live their best ‘Rich Woman’ lives – a life of financial freedom, fulfillment and fun.
Click here to access Emily’s Manifesting Meditation Bundles.
Welcome to Go-To-Gal episode number 178. As always. I’m your host, Jaclyn Mellone. But I probably don’t sound as good as I normally do. My microphone broke. I know, I can’t believe it. I’m recording this intro for you today on my AirPods Pro Pod. But rest assured this whole interview is done with my mic in normal, great sound quality.
We only had a couple of minutes. I’ll make this super short, only out a couple of minutes of this subpar audio, and then we’ll get to the real mic. And thank you, Amazon, for getting me the new mic. Hopefully, it will arrive very, very soon.
Okay. Today we are joined by Emily King. Emily is going to put together it really.
We dive into all things, money, money blocks.
We’re going to talk about how to find these hidden money blocks. One thing I want to be really upfront about is money blocks are not exclusive to people that don’t have money or people that have maybe really big money problems.
Sometimes you think you know what, I got money in the bank, I’m saving, or I’m making a lot of money. But you don’t realize that there could still be a money block there. And Emily’s going to share some of hers and I’ll share some of mine of different things that have been happening or happened in the past that you may or may not relate to.
But regardless, Emily’s going to break down how to find your head and money blocks, fun strategies for how to dismantle them, and really how to look at this, approach it with curiosity. Because at all different stages of business and in all different stages of maybe our relationship with money, you can come up against these money blocks.
I’m really excited for you to just go a little bit deeper on this journey. See what might be holding you back. Emily’s also going to talk to us about money personalities, what that means, and how that can help you. We’ll talk about the key to working with that money personality or money archetype. What else can we talk about? Tricks to reframing your taxes, unexpected bills.
We cover a lot. I wanted to keep this intro short and brief, especially since the audio quality is not good. Again, the interview itself is all done with my regular mic, so hang on for just a hot minute. I want to officially introduce you to Emily and then we’ll get to it.
Emily King is a Wealth and Abundance Coach for Entrepreneurial Women and the founder of The Rich Woman Signature Coaching Program.
Since 2015, she has worked with hundreds of women to help them create a loving relationship with money so that they can massively increase their income and impact. Armed with an MBA and certifications as an NLP practitioner, timeline therapist, and pilates instructor. Yes. All of those things.
Emily brings the perfect mix of manifesting-woo and business chops to the table to help women across the world live their best rich woman life, a life of financial freedom, fulfillment, and fun. All right, let’s get to it. Here’s my conversation with Emily.
Emily, I’m so excited to have you here today.
Thank you so much for having me.
Yes. All right. Before we dive into you and all the others you’re up to now, take us back to when you were growing up. What were you the Go-To Gal for back then?
I was the Go-To Gal for any adventure and money-making opportunity even back then. Like I sold pieces of my hair to make money.
I sound like a child orphan. Yeah. I swear. I swear.
How does that work? Okay. We need more details on this.
My hair is red, like this Auburn kind of unique. It’s gotten a little darker over the years, but when I was a kid, it was this really unique color. When I was six years old, I had really long hair, so I got lots to spare and I was at a family party with relatives that you never see and that kind of stuff.
One of them came up to me and he was like ” I really love the color of your hair. It’s so beautiful.” And I was like “Well, I’ll sell you a piece for a dollar if you like. And he said “Yes.” It’s kind of weird, but also weird for me to ask. And then I went around the whole party asking other people if they wanted a piece of my hair and I made five bucks at night.
People took the opportunity. I just cut little chunks of my hair and put it in a bag and gave him a bag of my hair.
Well, all the props for being innovative, resourceful, or I don’t even know how to categorize it. Did you get in trouble for cutting your hair?
No. My parents were good at it, too.
I was such a little rebellious. Like “You can’t tell me what to do.” Kind of kid. I am the third child, the last child of my siblings. And they were just like “Oh Emily. What’s she doing now?”
Oh my goodness. Okay. You actually reminded me of something that I don’t think I’ve shared on the podcast yet before. I’ve talked about it online, but I’m like “Maybe I’d never talked about this on the podcast. I don’t know.” What I thought you were going to say is that you actually sold your hair, like the people who buy hair.
No. To pieces.
A year ago, last April, I have things, and I have to get my bangs trimmed, like every two weeks. And so when COVID hit, I’m like what am I going to do?”
And I’m like “I am not qualified to cut my own bangs.” And my cousin who does my hair is like, “Don’t even YouTube it.” And I’m like “I don’t know. They’re getting in my eyes. I need something.” And she was the one that was like “Well, why don’t you get some headbands?” So I think she was just thinking like ” Oh, I’ll just enjoy wearing a headband and can sweep the bangs to the side.
And I’m trying to shove the bangs back in the headband and that doesn’t work. Then when I’m on Amazon looking for stuff, I don’t even know what compelled me, but I’m like “I wonder if I could buy fake bangs.” I searched this on Amazon and this bang hairpiece comes up for $14.99.
I’m like ” I’m all in on this.” And it was real hair. I didn’t know where it came from. And that’s where I’m like “Oh my gosh! I never thought that maybe it was coming from a little girl.” I ordered this piece, put it in and I got so lucky that it was like the exact color of my hair.
And this bang piece hair is weightless, find a way to keep in my own hair. We’re that all through COVID. Because I was barely even getting my hair cut. And now, I actually am back to getting my hair done every six weeks. And I actually grew my bangs out and I still wear the bang piece because it’s so much better.
So I’m looking at fake bangs right now?
Oh yeah. These are fake.
It’s not real. I mean, I’ve been, I knew about it, but I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that on the podcast because people don’t see me. It doesn’t come up in conversation. And you talk about you selling your hair. I’m like “Oh yes. I bought somebody’s hair. ” It’s like “I paid $14.99 for that.
Actually, I have four or five of them now. And yes. I just grew up my bangs and these bangs are, they don’t curl up, because my hair is a little wavy. I wish that I could permanently glue them in there, but no. I just put a little clip-on.
I feel like I need to tell my best friend about this because she has bangs and they’re always sticking to it if it gets hot in the summer, then they stick to your forehead. Yes, the humidity. And yes, they just have a mind of their own, so you’re good now.
Yes. Okay. Well, now that we are wildly off, topic,
It needed to be said. Now that’s out there that I have a big bang, if you didn’t know, now you know. Oh, and who knew it? This is a new side hustle. People could be selling their hair. Okay. Fast forward to today, what do you do and who do you help?
What I do is I do wealth and abundance coaching for women entrepreneurs.
I help women who either have started a business and are getting going, or they’re at the point where they’re already running a very successful business, but they want to overcome their money blocks and get a really powerful mindset so that they can bring more ease into their business and more money and more clients and all of the feel-goods.
That’s what I do. That’s my jam.
I love that that’s your jam. And I’m like “How does this tie in?” You know what? It’s maybe surface resourcefulness with money there. It doesn’t always tie in, but you think outside the box, right?
Well, yes. Some blocks are like ” I can’t do that because no one will buy that or who will pay for that.”
People paid a dollar for a piece of my hair when I was a kid, and you’re paying 15 bucks for fake bangs. There’s a market for everything.
Okay. When it comes to money blocks, is there something that you struggled with? Maybe not in the hair selling days, but post. Did you, do you feel like you had money blocks? How did you get into that?
I remember feeling somebody had kept a secret from me for my whole life. And then found out about it at what I was probably 24. And I was like “Oh, I never knew money blocks was a thing. “For anyone listening that doesn’t know, money blocks or any limiting beliefs that we have about money that block it from coming into our lives.
I knew this was a thing until my mid-twenties and I was like, “Oh, this is a thing no one has told me about it.” Because for sure, I had big money blocks going on. I was a money hoarder. You would not believe it. I think I had like $10,000 in my bank account when I was in high school. Something ridiculous while everyone was off, like going to the movies and getting the cutest little shoes where I’m like “How much money can I save?”
I had a big-money block of if you spend it, it’s gone forever. And you have to work so hard to make it. And also this block of, it’s not that I grew up poor, but I had a weird upbringing when it came to money. I didn’t know where we kind of sat with money because we grew up on a really great street, which was like a rich street, but yet we drove 15-year old cars and had orange carpet in the house.
It was like a little mix-match of “Where do we sit in this, like poverty to abundance scale, mom and dad? And they would mix 2% milk with powder milk because it was cheaper than buying 1% milk. It was some weird stuff that went on. I always felt this separation from quote-unquote “rich people” where they were like these esteemed people who were so much better than me and “Oh my God. What it would be like to be rich?” Because I had some friends who had like cabins and I’m going to Florida every year to Disney world, all the things and I was at home, like “I’ve never been to Florida. My parents won’t take me to Disney world.”
So for sure, all of us have money blocks. And when you get opened up to this world, it’s mind-blowing and really exciting because then you could start to become aware of them and then overcome them and be like “Well, that’s not true.”
And If I overcame that, then I could feel a hell of a lot better about what I’m doing and all sorts of things. It’s like this whole amazing new world.
Yes. Okay. I love that your first example with this of how it affected you because it wasn’t that you were blocked, you were making money, right? You had money coming in from somebody you had it saved, maybe blocking more from coming in.
But sometimes we look at the evidence of ” Well, I have a business. I have money coming in.” So it must not be a money block or something like that, where there’s nuance to it, right? How do we even go about determining that we have a money block?
I guess the big ask, but, what’s that first step of like “Do I save money blocks? How do I know?”
I guess the easiest thing to ask oneself would be “What doesn’t feel good around money? That’s like the simplest way to put it. It might be like “You know, paying my bills doesn’t feel good.” or when I spend money, it doesn’t feel good because it feels like I’m broke again. Or maybe for other people, that it’d be the complete opposite where they’re spending all the time, and they’re like “You know, it doesn’t feel good around my money is looking at the $0 balance in my bank account every time I open it up. Starting with what just doesn’t feel good, that would be your starting point, ” I don’t like paying my bills. Okay, perfect. There we go. There’s a money block that we have right there. I don’t like paying bills.” It could just be, because here’s something really practical to give your audience is, think of money as an actual person that you have a relationship with.
If you have a husband or a partner or wife, whatever it is, think of them as a romantic partner in your life that you’re wanting to build the most romantic, incredible infatuated, relationship ever. And where do you stand in that relationship now? Is it one of love-hate? Is it neglect?
Is it you don’t trust it at all?” Because a lot of people don’t have a lot of trust with money either. And in kind of personifying money, then you can ask yourself “Okay. What would I like to be different about this relationship? And a good place to see what you value in a relationship is to take an actual human person that you have a great relationship with, could be your mother or a best friend or a partner or whatever, and say “Okay, in that relationship, what do I really value and what feels really good in this relationship?”
So it might be that “I have so much fun with them and they’re always there for me. And, we go on so many fun adventures.”, Okay. You and money, do you have so much fun with it? Do you trust to do go on fun adventures with it?” And if the answer is “No. No.No.” Well, then we know that there’s a gap there and a place for improvement.
Okay. That is such a fun exercise. I’ve always loved that concept of personifying money because it does, I think, pull those things up to the surface of like” Okay. When we start doing that, you start to see “Okay. This is where maybe the relationship doesn’t look good.” But the idea of being able to take a relationship that is really good in our lives and use that as a mirror for how we want that money to like that’s so creative and that puts a different spin on things.”
Let’s say we do that and it’s like “Okay, there’s trust. There’s fun. There’s love. How do we go about building that relationship with money that is not an actual person?
What does that look like?
For me, coming from the money hoarding background, I know that my tendency is to not have fun with money because it’s just like “No, let’s just keep it all because who knows like you might need it for that rainy day or, you know.” So, I did this exercise myself last year.
And when I was looking at my relationship with my husband, it was like “Oh my God.”We do have so much fun and he’s so silly. I can just have so much laughter and all that kind of stuff with him. And then when I looked at money, it was like “Okay. Well, the quality of fun and silly and laughter have you been having that with money?”
“Nope.” It was quite simply just how can I invite more fun into my life with money? It could be just as simple as something like, “Girl, buy herself a new lipstick or something like “Spice up your makeup for tomorrow.” The headbands, you and I both got headbands to like “Go. Splurge on something that maybe you wouldn’t.” Because you’ve told yourself like “Oh, I can’t have that, or that’s a waste of money” You know, really putting a lot of judgment on what you’re spending your money on. For me, it was taking off. One, the judgment on what I could, and couldn’t have. Two, realize that in spending money and having fun with it, it was actually getting me into abundant feel-good energy with it, which then from the law of attraction, point of view brings more of it.
The irony is, in at least my case, having the money hoarder kind of background and overcoming it, is that when I spend, I actually make more, which might be true for some people, it might be completely opposite for others. Whether like, when I spend, I got nothing left, but for me, when I spend, it gets me back into the fun, it gets me back into the trust.
It gets me back into believing in abundance, and then, sure enough, a new client signs up or I get a new business idea and the rest is history.
Oh, that’s so good. Okay. I want to back it up for a minute though, because I’m like, ” Okay, that was too good to not ask”. This is such a good exercise.
Let’s take it one step further, but I want to go back. How are we determining what our money blocks are,? How they show up? Because it is different for everyone. And I know that you have some archetypes that you work with that help us figure out what that is. What does it mean to have a money archetype or money personality?
Just like us, humans have personalities. Be Myers Briggs or Annie Graham or whatever it might be, we have our own money personalities. There are eight money personalities that are called sacred money archetypes and essentially they’re kind of bulked into those of us that love to spend our money and really indulge in love. What money can give us?
There’s those of us that love to hoard it like I was talking about earlier myself, there’s those of us that don’t really care at all about it and kind of wish it didn’t exist, but the good news is, have a trust with it, where they just know it’s going to be there.
Somehow it magically appears whether it be through their partner’s work or what have you, And then there’s the personality type that is very risky, like high risk, high reward. And I’m also very risky with my money, ironically enough, because coming from a money hoarder, I also love big risk, big rewards, so that’s why something like real estate investments works really well for me.
Because it’s not like a $10 thing that you’re buying. It’s like a $300,000 thing that you’re investing in. But it’s very exciting to me because I see the potential and I see the opportunity to make more money, which goes along well with my accumulator personality that loves to have money.
Yes. That’s the kind of categories, and then in those personality traits, there are certain blocks that will be more prevalent for certain, archetypes and others. I forgot to mention as well, there are the archetypes that are there more nurturer, so it’s the person that people come to for money or it’s the person that tends to give the discounts because they feel bad, all that kind of stuff.
A nurturer, for example, might have the blocks off, “I feel bad for charging” or, “if I have a gift, I have to do it for free”, so that’s not uncommon. The connector or Alchemist, so the Alchemist is someone who has like a million ideas a day. Their challenge is to follow through on it, to actually make money from it.
But an Alchemist living in their shadow, if you will, doesn’t like that because they see money as a necessary evil, so they might have the good old classic block of like money is the root of all evil. Why do we need this money thing? Money is just metals, money is greedy, money is selfish. Right?
Each personality is going to have perhaps money blocks that are going to be stronger for them than others.
I love all the personalities, assessments. Give me a Buzzfeed quiz, like a formal assessment, I’m here for all of it. Okay, I’m all over this. I am a ruler, when I did this assessment, but my very close second is romantic, but it’s funny, my accumulator is my lowest one.
I love romantics.
Just as much from our top ones as from our bottom ones.
Yes. It is so helpful to know like if you have a partner in your life, it’s so helpful to know theirs as well. Because my husband and I, have complete opposites, so when I did it and he did the quiz, it was like, “oh my God, things make sense now”.
Because this is a true story, last year, just before COVID hit, we were in Maui, and my real estate agent writes me, we had viewed a house a couple of months prior that didn’t work out or whatever. Anyways, they ended up lowering the price, and my real estate agent writes me while I’m on vacation in Maui, and he says, ” Hey, they just lowered the price to something more like you were looking for, did you want to put an offer in? I’m like, yes, sure let’s put an offer.
My husband is out golfing, he texts me, he’s like, “why am I getting a text message from Patty?”, our real estate agent, saying that, to sign a contract because we’re buying a house. I was like, “oh, don’t you worry about that.”
He’s like, “I’m out golfing” and you’re buying a house. What’s happening? That’s the Maverick in me, so my maverick is my top one, that’s the risk-reward thing. Whereas Maverick is bottom for him, so it’s the last thing he would ever do. He needs the facts, he needs the reassurance of like, this is going to work out right?
It was too funny. I still have a screenshot of that text message to this day, because it’s such a funny story. But romantics really intrigued me, because coming from the accumulator that loves to save, and romantics love to spend. A classic romantic saying is, “I deserve it”.
They’re just like, “oh, get the bottle”, I deserve the bottle of champagne at dinner, Yes, treat yourself kind of thing. Exactly. Yes.
It makes sense.
The accumulator and you’d be like, “no, do not treat yourself, save that money, put that away”. Do you know? I love that.
Literally. Chris, my husband, we just had his birthday and I forget what it was, but there was something and he was like, “oh, well, let’s not do that”, and I was like, “it’s your birthday”.
Whatever you like, no, I just really don’t want to do that. Don’t see that then, don’t make it about the money. It was easier for him to rationalize. Like, “oh well, we don’t need to spend the money on that thing”, then to say, I just don’t want it. Right? Or that’s not really what my priority is.
That’s an interesting little nuance of getting really clear on what we want and what we don’t want and owning what the real truth behind it, and what is our priority or not our priority, there’s a lot of contexts there. But that was just a conversation that happened this week that I thought was really interesting.
I’m like, “just say it if you don’t want to spend the money on it”, but not that it’s not, because we could spend the money on it. It’s just not the priority. Right?
Yes. He didn’t want it for his birthday.
Exactly. I don’t even remember what it was, but it was something, Okay. When I think about personality assessments, it’s typically learning about yourself with the outcome of maybe self-acceptance and then maybe I think that with an engram (pls check) they give you that scale of like, this is what an unhealthy, I’m a seven it’s like, this is what an unhealthy seven looks like. This is what a healthy seven looks like. and all of that.
How would you describe these types of archetypes? Is that like, if I’m a ruler, am I always a ruler? Does that ever change? Is there that scale there? How do we look at this?
Yes. Good question. It can, actually, I was on a clubhouse talk earlier, we were chatting about this, like the sacred money archetypes coaches. Because the jury is still out on it. If your personality, like an archetype, can change, but here’s what I will say is that, from my own experience and from working with like, she’s probably had over a hundred clients with, the archetype stuff, is that your score may shift, like I’m always going to be a Maverick. I know that. And I’m always going to have that accumulator in me and the ruler like they’re my top three. But they might just shift slightly. A Maverick might be a top score for me, and maybe it’ll shift down to number two, maybe the ruler will shift up to number one.
But once you kind of knows your money archetype, it does typically stay, as is, with a little shift here or there, depending on how much you’ve worked on it. Maybe even just the day that you’re taking the quiz, maybe you’re like, “yeah, whatever, that’s a strongly agree”. And then you take the quiz a year later. You’re like, Nah, I’m neutral on that one. You know, it could just, it could just be the day and your honesty with the quiz.
But I would say, generally speaking, once you’re kind of locked into those archetypes, that’s your archetype, that you can lean into to get your guidance.
Because like you said, it’s kinda like the strength here is when you’re really in your power with this and then when you’re in not so much in your power, the shadow side of her, the challenge side of it. So same goes for archetypes.
Okay. Elaborate on that a little bit more. This is good because it’s not, you were telling the story about being in an accumulator when you were younger and it wasn’t about you going the tour opposite and not being an accumulator, right.
It was about maybe you being more of a healthy accumulator.
What does that look like? How do we use our archetype for guidance, I guess, are we exploring shadows, or what do we do with the shadows? And then how do we get into the power? Like how does this all work?
Yes. I’ll use, actually you’re a great example with the ruler. I’m also a ruler and I don’t know about you, but if I’m living in the shadow side of it, the classic, like I’m not stopping to smell the roses, I get the goal. And then I’m like next thing. And so the number is such a motivating thing for me. And so it can be a very outcome-driven way of doing business, which as we know, can take the fun out of it because it can be disappointing if you’re always focused on the outcome and not really seeing the long-term that you’re on.
Knowing that, I mean, I hit like big goals even last year during COVID and stuff. I hit some big goals in my business and I caught myself being like, okay, great. And then next, not celebrating, I actually even this weekend, I caught myself, I was speaking for TEDx on Saturday and my sister-in-law asked me last weekend, she was like, “what are you doing to celebrate?”
And I was like, nothing. Knowing that, that was my tendency to not celebrate, not really take the enjoyment in, I ordered myself some flowers yesterday that came to the house that said, I’m proud of you, like my own little note to myself.
Oh my goodness. I love it.
I blocked off Mondays, so I don’t have anything on Mondays, so I can just like take the day just to. Relax and enjoy.
I have a really amazing thing that I love doing now, it’s called my joy jar. Where I have this jar that sits on my nightstand and I have little pieces of paper cut up already for it. Every single night I write on the little sheet of paper, one joyful thing for my day. One thing that I’m really proud of what I did that day.
In doing that every time, I would say probably eight times out of 10. I’m shocked at how often I’m like, nothing really like amazing happened today, but I like sitting there for, you know, 30 seconds. I’m like, oh wait, no, like. I remember last year before COVID hit, I had just announced a retreat that I was hosting.
I remember that day I had signed on two clients to come, or maybe it was three. Anyways, it was like a 10K day. I remember sitting at my joy jar and be like, “Yes, nothing really great happened today. And then I was like ” Emily, it was just a 10 K day for you. Write that down woman.”
I write down these things, put them in a jar, and then at the end of the month I review them. I pulled them all out, and I keep them in my drawer afterward. But I pulled them all out and I read them. Every single time I’m like “Wow. Emily, do you realize the amazing things that you’ve done? Do you realize that people you’ve impacted the growth that you’ve had?”
And if I didn’t do this tool, I would totally just keep going and chugging along and be like “Yes. Business is good, but it could be better. Or like “There’s much more growth to go” that kind of stuff. That’s helped me big time with the ruler archetype. For example, you being romantic, that’s not one of my top ones. But romantics, if they’re living in their shadow side, they tend to come back to zero in their bank account. Because saving, savings for romantics feels like being told you can never eat chocolate or candy or any of the good stuff ever. Saving is the most boring thing ever for romantics. It’s like “What do you mean?
Just let the money sit in my bank account and do nothing. You’re kidding me.” For romantics, the challenge is finding the fun in savings and find in and not having savings being like this deprivation thing of like “You can’t have this or whatever.” But coming back to what your story earlier about your husband is like, “No, I just don’t want that thing.”
So really getting intentional about what am I choosing to buy versus, sometimes romantics and even celebrities can be in this almost addictive habit of the retail therapy, where they end up with like a pile of stuff. And I don’t even want half that stuff for like “What did I do?” Getting much more mindful and intentional about your spending and your savings goals and the long-term impact of that like “You know, what if I do save my money, and save up 10 grand or 20 grand or whatever it might be, that could be a down payment for whatever it is. “That’s going to give me the glamorous holiday that I want or whatever it might be for the romantic. So Yes. There’s so much learning with the challenge side of things.
Yes, and I appreciate you bringing that up and it’s so true, and oh my gosh. I am very susceptible to retail therapy, especially problems. And I’m like”Okay, it’s the romantic and also combined with I have ADHD.” It’s like a dopamine hit, right? It used to be the back. I don’t even know when I was working at jobs.
I would be bored at my job and go shopping during lunch. Like “Oh, go to Marshall’s .”Even if it’s just like a new journal or something, but I definitely caught myself with that over-quarantine with online shopping because of this. A Dopamine head and it gives you then play into my romantics.
But I appreciate you saying that because what I’ve done in terms of getting better at savings is systems and automation just happens and then we’ll think about it and getting that in place. But there are some big things that my husband and I want to save up for. And I think trying to find ways to make it more fun and maybe celebrate the milestones of the savings.
When you said fun and savings and like “Okay, I need to figure this out.” Because fun is a priority for me. It’s a core value. In saving when it comes to achieving these goals, I love that. I’m like “Okay, I can just automate it.” But I’m not even really thinking about it then, so it’s happening, which is good.
But that’s also probably not the best for a relationship if it’s just, you know, right?
Well, I like how you bring it up because that’s a good point. That’s a really good starting point for listeners. Learning is the easiest place for romantics to start. It’s automation. Because if you don’t see it or know about it and it’s already done, then it doesn’t feel like deprivation.
There’s an example of, if you give a kid two chocolate chip cookies and you take one away, they’re like “You took away my cookie.” It’s like, they’re freaking out. If you give a kid just one cookie and that’s all I get, they’re the happiest kids on Christmas. They’re like “Oh man. I got a cookie.”
The same thing with romantics and money. If you just give the one cookie or the $1, the $100, whatever it is, they’re happy. But if you were to give the $200 and say “Okay,. Now go tuck away.” A hundred of that, they’re like “What? No, I want all of it.” So the automation is really, really key for romantics.
Yes. But what I was thinking for you and this is where your top three really come in handy or knowing those and how they gel together is you being a ruler.
That’s a really nice compliment to, the romantic in the sense that rulers love numbers and are driven by. The numbers and money, Not in a selfish, greedy way, but it’s just like a fun thing for them. Yes, your savings is automated and that’s all taken care of, but challenging yourself of like “Well, if we’re going to save, five grand to the goal this month, what if in my business I could do something that would actually bring in 10 grand and we’d go put that towards that? That takes our timeframe from..” I’m just making this up here now, like “…January that we get this thing to now we get it in November instead.” So bringing in some of that ruler component into your savings goals to really make it fun, will help you.
I love that idea. I love that idea. For those of you who listen and you’re like, Jaclyn, how are you a ruler?
You’re not motivated by money. Because I will say, I’m not motivated by money and this is not something that I have seen in myself. It’s literally something that old bosses of mine have noticed in me. There’s just a disconnect in my brain sometimes of, I don’t know, in past jobs where it’s like a commission-oriented thing. I would put just as much energy into something that would bring in $200 as would bring in $20,000 or something like that.
It’s interesting in terms of how I play out and I think it’s just a disconnect in my brain in terms of motivation. But I do, I love setting big money goals. I have money goals and I love talking about money and strategy around it. And I think even, thinking about how I could apply that to savings would make it more fun for me.
It’s interesting how the ruler shows up, and I think I’ve embraced this. Another side of me where I know that I have that disconnect, but I think if I leaned more into that ruler role too, it’s not even because it’s not about motivation. It’s about the operation. It’s about how you handle a strategy.
That’s interesting. You have, you definitely gave me some things to think about there.
Piqued your interest. Yes.
Yes. Okay. We have these archetypes. I think that’s a really good starting point to get a handle on and our different money personalities. How that might be showing up, whether it relates to the archetypes or not? In terms of these self sabotages, what else could, or should we be doing to start exploring, were those, where we’re, self-sabotaging where these money blocks are coming up? Should we have a list of money blocks? Are there things or patterns that we should be looking for, or is really our best bet to just get that archetype and then use that as the guidance?
Well, let’s just say archetypes didn’t even exist. I should back up though and say “Yes.” Knowing your archetype and diving into that is definitely a great starting point, but let’s just say they didn’t exist. Here’s an exercise that I do, one would be writing out, it’s like a fill-in-the-blank. Money is blank. Actually, for you, money is what? What was the first word that comes to your mind?
You know, it’s funny. “Fun” came to my mind.
I don’t know if that’s because fun is just such a central theme in my life, but it is money equals fun for me.
Perfect. Yes. So having people journal or taking yourself with a journal and a pen and paper and just writing out prompts like “Money is what?” And just letting your pamphlet “Money is freedom. Money is fun. ” Even exploring what limitations come up, if any, like” Money is hard.”
I did this actually just yesterday. One of the clients said, “Money is going out faster than it’s coming in.” I was like “Oh, interesting.” And then exploring your prompt like ” If I am rich, that means.dot.” So that can bring up. I did this in a course that I offered a couple of years ago where I said ” Imagine that you’re a millionaire and, exploring your thoughts and beliefs and perhaps even judgments around that. As a millionaire, I feel blank.
My family and friends feel blank or like strangers that know I’m a millionaire think blank. Just exploring that, that’s one place to start is exploring. Just do some money journal prompts that bring up under the surface what’s going on for you.
But then the most, I think the useful thing is just straight up, looking at your goals. Let’s just say, you have a stretch goal of “I want to sign on five clients this month for my 10K package .”Write it out. Perfect. Fantastic. Now, going to a belief scale. On a belief scale from one to ten, ten being like “Oh my God. I know a hundred percent would bet my life on it. It’s happening.” How much do you believe it’s going to happen? And if you’re kind of below and eight, so seven and lower, start to explore, “Well, what would I have to believe in order for me to be a 10 out of a 10?”
That’s going to expose you to your money blocks. And from there, let’s just say, I do this exercise myself and I go. No, I believe it I’m like a six out of ten, it can happen. Okay. I got four points in the difference. Well, what would I have to believe in order to make it happen? Or what are the limitations that telling me that it can’t happen?
I don’t have a big enough email list or I haven’t been showing up enough lately for my audience. Or people are going to think my prices are too high. I just get all of it out. And then from there, I cross it out and I rewrite something more empowering for myself. I might say “My email list isn’t big enough.”
I crossed that out and I would bring evidence, like actual evidence from my past to say “You know what? When my email list was 120 people, I sold out a course of 20 people and had a 20K launch. Now you have 20 times that least, so like “What’s your excuse now?” Just as I thought going to court was your ego and you got to pretend that you are the world’s best lawyer.
When you went to the courtroom, people are like “Hush. Hush.” Because she entered the room.” And like “Oh my God.” And you’re up against your ego and your egos and the dads are like ” Oh, you can’t do that. That’ll never happen for you.” And this probably comes up and you’re “Feel the work.” People stepping into their expert status, the go-to person, right
Well.” Who are you to be that? and then you show up to the courtroom. Like, “Let me tell you a little something here, sir. You know, and then ” What would you go off on them with, in the courtroom, if you were standing there at that powerful woman that you are, what would you say?” This really brings to light.
“What are my limiting beliefs? What is the truth of the matter? And even if you’re having a really crappy day where you’re like” I got nothing. I’m not feeling powerful at all.” Just start to shift it with like” You know what? I’ve had crappy days before, but it also had really good days that have come after crappy days.”
Even though today I don’t feel good, I know that tomorrow’s a new day and tomorrow’s new opportunity. And let me just rest up and I’m gonna wake up tomorrow and come back to this. Or it’s just finding the little gratitude of, you know, what. I made a passive sale today of $27 in my funnel.
So like” Go Emily You are awesome. Finding any little “baby step” to get closer to the belief.
Yes. Back to that joy jar. It was so good. Okay. I’m loving all of that, and I think this whole courtroom dynamic too, just brings that layer of fun to it that is important to have some fun with ourselves, to shake things up, to get us to start thinking differently, and to also make it maybe not feel as heavy if it feels heavy too.
On the other question I think that is when something happens I can say this in a broad sense, and I’ll give you the very specific reason why I’m asking. Sometimes, we’re going, we’re exploring, and we don’t know what our money blocks are, but let’s go out there and try to pull them up.
Well, I think the opposite of that is sometimes there are things that happen with money where it’s like, maybe there’s unexpected bills or repairs, whatever it is.
Things that happen. You’re losing a client or a chargeback. There are all these other things that can happen. Sometimes in those moments, it’s like ” If we’ve been doing this work, Is there a money block there?
Is that a thing?” I ended up owing a lot more in Texas than I had planned on and that was a really unexpected bill. That was something where I’m like “Okay. Is there something here? I don’t want to dwell on it. We can solve this.” But also, I tend to get into problem-solving mode.
But I think when those things happen, that could also be an opportunity to explore. But is it also maybe it’s like don’t make these mean something does you have a, your hands for that?
A bit of both. It’s when people are coming to me, they’re like “This happened.” And it must mean that I’m not meant to do it.
I’m like “Well, no, it was just like, I don’t know. Your phone just died.” Whatever it is. As your phone died, I don’t know. It doesn’t mean that you’re a terrible person. For example, I had a client and I’m still working with her now and she is doing amazing in her business.
All this money’s coming in, things are feeling great. And she gets a brand new car and the very next day, it gets damaged. Somebody damages her car. She comes to our session and she’s like ” What does this mean? I’m not meant to have nice things. I got too big for myself.” You know ” Too cocky, blah, blah, blah.”
This is the universe telling me “Sit back down and shut up” kind of thing. Or it could just be like “Your car got damaged and let’s go get it fixed and get insurance paid for it.”And this story is like “Let’s not make it something bigger than it needs to be.”
I always go on the side of like ” It doesn’t really mean much besides the meeting that you’re going to give it.” This brings me to my second point, which is when things happen like that, in your case, funny, the same client, actually today. I just got off a session with her. We were chatting about taxes and she was saying how she wants to open a bank account and start to tuck money aside for her taxes and that kind of stuff.
She says “, You know, I really hope that I have a $50,000 tax bill next year.” And I’m like “Yes.” That’s the mindset.
Oh my Goodness. I am going to write this down.
Because if you have a $50,000 tax bill, guess what? That means you probably did a really good year, right? She’s excited about a big tax bill. In your case, I know at the moment, it’s not the most fun thing to be told.
“Hey, we told you your tax bill was on a $10,000. It’s actually $20,000. Surprise!” But, have your moment to be like “This sucks. Let me get the money for that.” But then on the flip side of that, have that moment to be like “Okay. What else could this mean besides now I have money to give out?”
This means I did better than I thought. This means that my business took off, and I owe the government more than I thought. The last thing I want to say to this is don’t evaluate too early. Meaning, I had a client a few years ago, and she had been working on her money mindset and overcoming this belief of one step forward, two steps back.
She felt like just as soon as she got ahead, “Bam!” Something came in to knock her down again. She’s self-employed. She runs her own business, and we had looked at the numbers and I was like ” You can be giving yourself a bigger salary than you are.”She upped her salary. It was all good.
Then that week she finds out that she needs $500 in Cairo repairs. She sends me a message and she’s all distraught. She’s like “Oh my God Emily.”Like ” See, this is just what happens. Now I got this car bill blah.” And I was like “Okay wait.” First of all, you’re zooming way too in, and you’re not evaluating the whole situation.
You’re evaluating way too early. Let’s look at this differently. You just got to raise your current needs repairs. Let’s just assume the car would have needed repairs anyways. It’s not like she got an accident, it was like something her curves, just breaking down. Now let’s shift this into, instead of one step for two steps back,
“Oh, my God. Look at the universe supporting me. Look. I just increase my salary. Now I have more money than ever to support me with this bill. Thank you universe so much for supporting me with the extra financial abundance.” And not only that but coming back to the fun and the playfulness of it is like, let’s just say she didn’t have that raise.
Let’s just say she had a $500 bill and was in the “Woe is me.” kind of stage. Well then shifting into the universe, it’s like ” Let’s have some fun with this. Let’s see what are all the possibilities for $500 and more to come into my life, to pay this bill. “And some people even have the money there, but this comes back to what I said earlier.
Some people, a block might be like saying “I hate paying bills.” For example, my dog was sick there a couple of months ago and we ended up paying it like a thousand dollars in vet bills. And I caught myself being like “Oh, this stupid vet bill got to pay a thousand dollars bucks.” And I was like “This is not going to help me attract more money into my life.”
I took a moment to just shift into gratitude. One, the money is there for me to pay for this. Two, my dog is now healthy three. Thank God. I live somewhere where there are professionals to help my dog with this. Let me bless this bill. Let me give some gratitude to the vet that took such good care of my dog.
You know. This is like my baby. And I just shifted into gratitude and it’s not a big deal. I’m not like looking at my bank account every day. It’d be like “Where’s that thousand dollars.”More is always on the way.
“More is on the way and bless this bell.” I’m writing that down.
Bless your tax bill, bless that tax. You know what, and this is going to sound crazy and some people might get what ask for an even bigger tax bill next year.
I wrote it down. You’re asking for a bigger tax bill. I’m having tears.
Oh my goodness. Okay. We could talk about this all day, but I know we need to wrap up. How can we stay in touch with you, Emily?
Come check me out at therichwoman.ca and there you can check out the money code, which is all about the money archetypes. Or write on my homepage. There, there are some Manifesting Meditations that I have.
You get three Manifesting Meditations there for free. The audience can check them out. They’re really good. They’re really good meditations, I got to say.
Then on Instagram, I hang out there, emilykingco . Your audience likes, “DM me. I’m not one of those stuffy. I don’t go on my DMs. I’m in my DMs, answering people like “Hey, do you want to come out for coffee today?”
Amazing. Well, thank you so much. You definitely have inspired me today and I’m excited to get this, to get this out into the world.
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