Episode #205. Goal planning on your mind? Whatever goal-setting system you use, make sure you aren’t making these mistakes!
I’m going to share several goal-setting tips that you can implement whether you’re simply writing goals on a piece of paper or following a step-by-step framework. I’ll also be sharing goal-setting mistakes I’m seeing clients, students, friends, and all of the above make when it comes to dreaming up all the incredible things they want to accomplish. Learn the mindset that’s unknowingly keeping you stuck and the keys to connecting with your goals in a way that makes them happen.
Listen now to get excited about setting goals and achieving them and get on the right track for all the amazing things you’re going to bring to life this year!
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- The big-picture perspective you need to approach goals
- Why you can say goodbye to guilt and go bigger than ever
- How to open your mind to all the opportunities around you
- Why commitment + belief is the spark that makes things happen
- How you might get stuck doing business the same as always
- What to do with your goals after you write them down
- The key to forming a deeper connection with your goals
- How to tap into the real power of a vision board
“Whatever you’re doing, you’re in the business of inspiring others.”
“Business moves at the speed of your beliefs.”
“Why are we so afraid of our hopes? We have been through enough disappointment this year that I feel like we’ve been working those disappointment muscles and we could handle it.”
“If you’re not open to certain opportunities, you might miss them because you simply are not aware of them.”
“The thing I see the most is people that don’t even set the goal because they can’t see how to achieve the goal.”
“Where I see people struggling with their goals is that they write them down, or they put them in a pretty planner, and then nothing.”
Discussed on the Show
Welcome to Go-To Gal episode number 205. As always, I’m your host, Jaclyn Mellone. And today, we are talking about goals, and we have a lot to cover. But I wanted to start off really addressing one of the things that I had a lot of resistance around goals with. And that’s the fact that I’ve missed goals more times than I can even count. And I think even thinking about that, I’ve had resistance in the past, even doing episodes on goals because I’m like, who am I to teach on goals if I’ve missed all these goals? And I’ve weather those storms. I think that goals are, basically, I’ve done some reflecting and I’ve had a shift in perspective. So we have the main part of the episode, but I want to share a little something with you in this first part because of this mindset shift, this discovery, as I’ve been looking into it more closely. I think it’s going to help you too to just set the right tone for how we think about things. Before we dive into more of the goals talk, so talking about missing goals. I want to give you some of the reasons why I have missed goals in the past. Now, you may relate to some of these. You may not relate to some of these, but let’s just start with a share. So some of the reasons why I have not hit a goal, have been, that I never got started on it. Maybe I set a goal and then forgot about it, or just had so much resistance around it that I never got started. I wasn’t sure how to make it happen and just got lost in the process. Couldn’t break through that resistance. You can see how these can also combine and build on each other too. Got overwhelmed, procrastinated, and then procrastinated some more. It felt like I did everything right and it still didn’t work out. It got in my head and didn’t show up the way I should have. Allowed myself to believe that it just wasn’t meant to be when it didn’t happen all right away. Oh, set a goal so big, I immediately didn’t believe it was possible. Also seems never get started. Set a goal based on what I thought my goal should be, that maybe it’s something that wasn’t really true to me but what I was just feeling pressure from the industry or people around me. And then, my favorite got excited about a new project and switched gears. This is my favorite way to self-sabotage, by the way.
So the funny thing is when I started looking back at goals, like the goals that I set and didn’t achieve versus the goals that I accomplished, I realized that this binary measurement didn’t reflect the reality of the situations. So let me explain. Sometimes when I achieved a goal that I set, I was completely miserable and working nonstop. Or I made the revenue but brought home very little profit. Or I received recognition and praise but just didn’t feel that fulfilled myself. Or I hit an upper limit and self-sabotaged myself shortly after. Now, the funny thing is while some of the, and not always all the times, but there were some times that those things happened when I achieved the goal. And then on the opposite end, there were some times that I missed a goal but still had my best month, quarter, or year ever.
I realized I broke through an upper limit or limiting belief. And I felt the most ease and joy in my life in business. The missed opportunity opened an even bigger opportunity. And I learned a lesson that helped me make a big shift. So that binary measurement of, did I achieve the goal or not? Did not really reflect the reality of the situations, the whole picture. I could go on and on, but basically, my hot take here is we shouldn’t be judging our success by if we are hitting or missing goals. We need more context. We need more nuance, more nitty-gritty. We need more perspective. Now, I’m not anti-goal. I still set goals, but I set them differently. And I still have a good vision board but I created an even more powerful tool that I absolutely swear by now. I realized that these missing links that were here and the subtext of traditional goal setting, and I worked this process to fill that gap for myself into my goal setting. What I’ve realized is that pretty much everyone skips that pre-step, that in-between step. This is the step that comes before the plan, before the action. And when you take the time to do this, you set yourself up for success.
Now, we are talking about goals in our episode today. But I also set up a free workshop for you to go deeper with this. So this free workshop is The Best Quarter Ever Workshop. And I’ve broken this down into two parts, my favorite two parts. One part, mindset. I’m going to teach you my strategy and process for aligning with your Best Quarter Ever mindset. How do you get into that mindset and stay there? How do you create this, it’s not a vision board, but this powerful tool that I’m going to walk you through that’s going to help you get an alignment with that. This is something that you’ll use over and over again. You’ll have for Q1 but can absolutely continue with it after. And then the second part is strategy. So I’ll coach you through my process of designing your best quarter ever and identifying where things can go wrong, where you need support, how you want to think about those goals before you’re even setting them?
It will get the clarity, insight, and perspective to know exactly what it will take to have your best quarter ever. So this is a free workshop. I’m going to walk you through how to create that powerful tool, clarity on how and what to prioritize in Q1, knowing what it will take for you to have your best quarter ever, and to just give you that energetic boost to go for your goals in the new year. This is truly a hands-on workshop. It is pre-recorded. You missed us live. But I didn’t want you to miss the recording, the training here. We put it on a private podcast for you so you can listen, just like you’re listening now, but it’s on a private feed, and go through these exercises to set yourself up for success in the new year.
So whether you’re a big planner and you have everything whole planned out already, or whether you’re totally seat of the pants and like, oh yeah, I probably should have to think about Q1 now. This workshop is designed to help put you on the path to having your best quarter ever. And I, for one, I’m so flipping excited to walk you through this process. Now, to get free access to this Best Quarter Ever workshop, go to jaclynmellone.com/bqeworkshop. Or you can just go in the show notes and click the link if that is easier. And that will give you access to our private podcast where you can listen to the training, and start taking action so you’re set up for success in the new year.
Okay, so let’s kick off the next half of this episode. So what we’ve done is taken two of, which was part one and a part two. Two episodes from a year ago that are all about goal setting that was really popular. And I wanted to make sure, one, if you listened to them last year, this is an excellent refresher. And two, if you missed them last year, it’s a busy season. I wanted to make sure you caught them this year. So we took those two episodes and combined them into one, and that’s what we’re going to lead into here. Last year, I made it very specific to the pandemic. And unfortunately, here we are at the end of 2021, and so much of that is still very much the world we’re living in. So it felt really relevant and something I wanted to make sure that you had to help you through just the way we’re thinking about our goals and maybe the way that you changed how you’re thinking about goals because of the pandemic and how that might be hurting you. And, listen, we got 2022 right around the corner. New year, fresh start. I want you set up for the most success possible. So here is the second half and let’s dive in and get started with your goals.
Today, we are talking about goals. Now, this is not an episode that is comprehensive, like this is how you do your goals-type of thing. Listen, you may have your own way of doing goals. You may be following a certain system or framework right now. You might be being like goals, that’s an idea. Maybe, maybe. Judgment-free zone here. Listen, we all do goals differently. But, but what I’ve realized is, and this is so top of mind for me because I’ve been going through goal-setting and strategic planning with a few of my private clients. And some of these conversations are coming up in our mastermind groups too. And I know that just goal-planning is probably on your mind. It’s just a thing right now. That’s it. There is a mistake that I’m seeing people making with their goal-planning, and I have a few tips. A few tips that are going to whatever you are doing for your goals, whatever system or strategy, whatever planner, coach, whatever it is, I wanted to share these three tips with you that to bring these tips and apply them to whatever strategy you’re using, whether it’s literally just you writing down a couple of things on a piece of paper, or whether you were following some step-by-step framework, these are three tips that are going to really set you on the right track to set the right goals and to put you on the right track to actually make your goals happen. So with that said, let’s dive right on in.
I think the best way for me to share these tips with you is to really walk through the mistakes that I see people making mostly this year. Did I say that right? This year, this year, I can’t talk. So the podcaster who can’t talk. I’m just going with it here. So most of these are pulling it from this year. Conversations that I’ve had with clients, students, mastermind, and also pulling from my own network of peers of things that I’ve seen over and over again. Some of these are mistakes that people make every single year even when we’re not in a global pandemic. These are timeless tips. See, I wasn’t even planning that. We’re just going with it.
So the first mistake that I see people making is making uninspiring goals. I don’t know how else to say this, but just like marginally better or sometimes people will even lower their goals of, okay, I did this. Who knows what’s going to happen next year? Let’s just try to do the same. Or even if we did a little bit less like that would be a good goal. And I’m like, what is going on here? What is this? So why is this happening? Also, small goals and lower goals are, what’s the word for this? There’s a scale. This is all context. Subjective. There’s the word I’m looking for. This is subjective. So what is small to me and what is small to you, and what is small to someone else is going to be different. So I really want you to think about this in the context of where you are in your business and how much of a stretch a goal is? Because what is, again, what seems crazy or as small to someone, it’s very subjective here. That said, why do I think this is happening? Again, this is something I’ve seen every single year. Without realizing it, so many of us got into survival mode. When I say survival mode, I mean you literally we’re at a point, and I’ll include myself in here even though as a year, as a whole, this was not my mindset. There were certainly moments and months where I was deep into this mindset. Very grateful that I got myself out of it. But I was right there. It was right there. Yes, this is you for many months. And so, I totally get it. That said, what does it look like to be in survival mode? We’re looking at the world around us and we’re like, oh my gosh, what are we going to do? Maybe there are fear sets in that’s just perceived. Or maybe there’s an actual situation that happened to you where you’re like, this happened. We need to be saving. Our business was hit hard and you’re making these decisions of cutting staff or cutting your own pay. Who knows? An unlimited amount of situations could have happened this year.
So maybe you were there, and maybe you never moved on from there. Somewhere along the line, you figured out in your head or on a piece of paper or in a spreadsheet, this is how much money I need. This is how much money my family needs. And you’ve been busting your butt to hit that number. And it’d be some months, it goes over that number. And some months it goes under that number. But it’s been leveling out and you’ve been there, and you’ve been holding the egg and you’re in it, and you’re like, okay, we got this. We survived this. But you haven’t gone past that. And this is where a lot of people, maybe you’ve had to create an entirely new revenue stream, an entirely new business, an entirely new pivot, and you’ve gotten back up to that point where like, okay, as long as we’re here, we’re okay. We can pay our bills. We can survive. We can blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But next year, you might be holding yourself back from thinking far beyond that. You might be afraid to get your hopes up and get disappointed again. You’ve may even convince yourself that it isn’t realistic to dream big. Who knows? I’m not going to sit here and put a million things in your head. But I like giving these examples for you because this shows up differently. Sometimes, we’re quick to be like, well, that’s not me. But when you hear how it shows up, then it’s a little bit easier to be like, oh, oh wait. Oh wait, that sounds familiar. And maybe you recognize it in yourself, or maybe you recognize it in someone in your life. So be listening for yourself, but also be listening for your biz besties. Be listening for your partner, be listening for your own clients, because these are things that can really hold us back.
So with survival mode, we may have just not even realized we’re in survival mode which is very possibly the case. Also, we may feel guilty for wanting more. Now, this is something that is just part of our manifesto here at Go-To Gal. And that line, that quote, if you go back to our episode 00 Trailers in there is, I can be grateful for everything I have and still want more. And that is something that I identified in myself early on. And then I started to see with my clients is that once they hit a level of success, they felt almost guilty for wanting more. I should just be grateful for what I have. Maybe you grew your business this year. Maybe this is your best year ever. You’re on this upward trajectory, but you feel almost, you still are making your goal for next year very close to or the same as what you did this year because you feel guilty and want more. You’re like, I should just be grateful. I should just be grateful that I got this far, that I did this, that I was able to accomplish this. Who am I to want more now? And what I want to just point out to you now but always is, these two things are not mutually exclusive. You can be grateful for everything you have. You can be grateful for everything that brought you to this moment. Everything that has happened this year, good or bad, and you can see it’s still okay to want more. Wanting more does not erase any gratitude that you have for what you have. Okay, so if this is you if you think you are making this mistake, if you’re like, ah, you got me on this one, Jaclyn. I didn’t even realize it. What do I do? What’s my tip? What’s the antidote to this? The antidote to this is to get your freaking hopes up. What did you think I was going to say? The answer to that is to actually, gosh, yes, I’m going to giggle all of this whenever because I think we have to shake things up a little bit and make ourselves laugh. But seriously, get your freaking hopes up. What is it, why are we so afraid of our hopes? What is there?
If you don’t allow yourself to put that big number down on a piece of paper, if you don’t allow yourself to actually set a goal with yourself for something because you’re like, oh, it’s just not realistic or I don’t want to get, you know. Why would I even do that? It’s impossible. Or I don’t want to get my hopes up. If you do that, you’re basically saying you don’t believe it’s possible. If you’re not even willing to admit to yourself that you want to go for something, there’s a lack of belief there. And I can’t, gosh. I can’t help you with that specifically during this podcast episode, but I want to shine a light on that not only is it okay to get your hopes up and dream bigger but it is a necessary part of the process for going beyond where you are now. Is to believe that something bigger, something more is possible and can happen for you and can happen for you in the next 12 months. So dare, dare to dream here. And if putting down one big number is just too much, then let’s do a good, better, best goal. I learned about good, better, best goals from Todd Herman in The 90 Day Year program. And while Todd applies them to a 90-day plan, absolutely apply them to any type of goal. And what I like about this is it allows us to set like, so I like to do the number that I’m thinking I usually do as my better goal. And so then I’m like, okay. What feels like a little bit more attainable than that, and that’ll be my good. And then I’ll stretch myself a little bit more, and that’ll be my best.
Some people actually do even bigger goals. And it’s like the infinity, like who knows, like the wild card or the infinity goal and just to throw something even crazier out there. But this allows you to have a few targets. If you’re really afraid of letting yourself down if you’re afraid of putting something on paper that you know you’re afraid to commit to or that just feels too much, having these three goals gives you room to be stretching yourself while also having that maybe safety number that gives you the security while still opening up your mind to the possibilities of thinking bigger.
Listen, these goals are for revenue. These goals are for opportunities. For any types of goals that you’re putting together, if you don’t believe it’s possible, it’s going to be really hard. Not only is it going to be hard to do the thing if you don’t believe it’s possible. Part of the reason why it’s hard to get that result if you don’t believe it’s possible is because you won’t see the opportunities along the way. So I want to explain this because sometimes we just think these things are just like, I don’t know, Hocus Pocus or okay, Jaclyn, if I don’t read it out on a piece of paper then I can’t do it. All right. But there’s a method to the madness here. And if you’re not aware, if you’re not thinking big enough, if you’re not open to certain opportunities, you might miss them because you simply are not aware of them.
So what am I mean by this? One, if you have ever, ever gotten a car, it doesn’t have to be a new car. Any car, a new to you car. If you’ve ever gotten a car, if you notice, once you get that car immediately you start to notice all of the other cars on the road that are exactly like your car. And that’s this phenomenon that happens because now you’re aware, more aware, of this car. And so you start to notice it everywhere. Or if the car is a certain color, you start to notice more cars in that color. If you’ve ever been pregnant, you may have noticed a million other people who have also been pregnant. And you’re like, gosh, I didn’t realize so many people were pregnant. And it just comes into your awareness field. And so you start to notice it more. Well, the same thing that happens when you set your goals is your brain is now looking for evidence to support that belief that that goal is possible. And your brain is looking for opportunities and pathways to get you to that goal.
So you’re going to notice things that you would simply have not noticed otherwise. Quick, funny story here. It’s embarrassing but it’s just funny. So this year, I don’t know what it was, but you know those political emails that you get that if you’re in the marketing space, we know better? But these emails sometimes are written in such a way that the subject line, like you almost feel like they’re for you. And so I had contributed to a few campaigns and so I started, I was of course then on everybody’s email list. And so I start getting all of these political emails and it was funny because a few of them, and even though I knew better, even though I knew that this was smart email marketing, I opened a few of the emails because I was like, are they really talking to me? Do they really want me? Do they really need me? What is this? I don’t know. I’m not looking at the subject lines of those emails but it was something like, we need you, Jaclyn or can you help us out with this, Jaclyn? Or something like that and I’m like, are they really reaching out to me? And I had this belief that maybe they were. I don’t know why, and it’s kind of silly but maybe not. And so I just kept thinking, I don’t know, I opened up two or three of these emails thinking that they may actually have been reaching out to me for my support with something personal and not just in an email campaign.
And of course, I opened up the emails and it was not at all the case. Well, it’s funny because, after a couple of months of this, we did get an email from Biden’s campaign. Now, it was not for Biden to come on the podcast. If Biden or Kamala wanted to come on the podcast, I definitely would’ve made that work in some capacity. But it was not for that. But Biden’s campaign did reach out and they had a few different people who they wanted to pitch to come on the podcast. Not members of the campaign, but I don’t know, like supporting people. We weren’t able to make it work. It wasn’t the right fit. But I was just cracking up when that happened because, one, I’m like, we never would have opened up this email. Two, I’m like, it’s so crazy because I’ve been teasing myself that I keep opening up these marketing emails thinking that, oh, they need me. And here they are pitching us. And so, that was really funny. Even though nothing came of that, it’s a mindset. Now, I share that story. And in the same time period, an opportunity also happened for me to get featured in Forbes. And I shared this email with a team member recently, and we were cracking up because I’m like, listen, if I had not trained my brain to think, of course, these things are going to happen. Of course, Biden wants to be on my podcast. Now that didn’t you know, but it’s like, of course, of course, they’re reaching out, they need my support. Of course, Forbes is going to want to feature me.
So if I had not been open to these possibilities, it’s just only a matter of time before these things happen, I would’ve missed out on this. And the email that led to me being featured in Forbes, I probably would have never even opened the email. And if I was in a different mindset, if I didn’t believe that it was possible, I probably would have thought that email was a scam. And I share that with you because how many opportunities are you missing out on because you don’t believe they’re possible? How many times are you talking to the exact person who can open up that door for you? How many times is your own client or your own mentor or your own best friend, or just the random person you end up chatting with on clubhouse or whatever? How many times is that person the exact person that can help you? Do whatever it is you’re trying to do. But if you don’t believe it’s possible, you’re not going to see the opportunity. You’re not going to see the door. You’re never going to make that ask. You’re never even going to hear it in the right way, even if it’s offered to you because if you don’t believe it’s possible, your brain is going to mess it up. Gosh, I’m spending a lot more time on this. This first one that I thought I was going to, but this is important. This is huge for you. Really, I want you to get your freaking hopes up and just start stretching yourself beyond what you’ve allowed, what you’ve given yourself permission to be acceptable with, or what does it look like beyond that? I want you to truly believe that it’s possible, and that means committing to it. And maybe commitment first looks like putting it on a piece of paper. We don’t have to take all the steps right now. The first step is putting it on a piece of paper. The second step is, what is the second step? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what the second step is. The first step is putting it on a piece of paper. Once you commit to that goal, then you start putting your plan together for how to make that happen. And there are a million other decisions you need to commit to along the way. But the first step is allowing yourself to even think that big, to even put that goal on a piece of paper. You don’t need to know all the steps. All you need to do is once, you don’t need to see the whole pathway of how it’s going to happen but it starts with that first step.
Quick, another story. This comes up and I feel like it’s a good analogy. If you’re like, it’s just so hard to commit, or why does it matter if I put it on the paper or not? So non-business example. But when I was getting married, I was engaged, we were planning this big wedding and I reached out to a venue that I really liked but they didn’t have a liquor license. And that was important to my guests that there was going to be a liquor license available for the wedding. That was something that we knew was important. And so when I was talking to the person, I was like, well, can you guarantee because they were doing things to get this license. I was like, can you guarantee that by our wedding date that license will be in place? And I’ll never forget. They were like, no, I can’t guarantee that. And they’re like, I can’t even guarantee that you’re going to get married. And I can tell you right now, as a newly engaged woman, as a bride who is potentially going to hire a venue, this was a horrible thing to say. In the set, I was livid at this random person that I never even met. I was like, okay, I guess we’re not having our wedding reception there.
But it’s funny because I remember that conversation. Now, I’ve been married for 12 years, over 12 years. So over a decade later, I don’t remember all the venues that I called but that, that stuck with me. It’s funny because when I think about things like this, that story comes to mind because while I did not want to hear that at that moment, and while I don’t think that’s ever an appropriate thing to tell a happily, newly engaged bride who’s shopping for venues, they were right. That not all people who get engaged, get married. But if you are married, think about it. The day you got engaged, you were committed to getting married. You might’ve been committed to getting married even before you got engaged. But there was something about that. You got engaged and you start planning your wedding, you start doing things and preparing for the wedding that you’re just planning on it happening. You have faith that it is going to happen. And gosh, if that was you in 2021, maybe it happened in a different way than you thought it was going to happen. But when we make that commitment, we have this belief that it’s going to happen. And that belief carries us through all of the decisions to make it happen. It carries us through all of the stressors of planning. It carries us through all of the, oh, what else? It carries us through all of the things. And I want you to think about that when it comes to your goals and your business, because having that commitment to your goal, that first step, getting engaged to your goal, that’s awkward, but what does it take to have that commitment? Because when you’re committed to your goal, you’re forcing yourself to get creative. You’re forcing yourself to think outside the box. You’re forcing yourself to think about ways of how you can make it happen because it’s no longer about, can this happen? Am I allowed to make this goal? Am I greedy for making this goal? All of these excuses you may have for making the goal, as soon as you commit to it, it becomes about how do I make this goal happen? And when those are the questions that you’re asking yourself, when that’s the question that you’re asking yourself, you’re going to find the solution. You may make some mistakes along the way. It may take a few different kinds of solutions to get to the right solution, but setting that goal is putting you on that path to find the solution. And as I like to say, your business moves at the speed of your beliefs. So you got to believe it’s possible. And putting it on a piece of paper is one of the first steps to believing that it’s possible.
Okay, let’s dive right in with tip number two. I want to introduce tip two by tackling the mistakes that I’m seeing being made. So tip number two is inspired by, I think the best way for me to explain this one is actually to share a story about my new bed. Bear with me on this. Okay, so let’s dive right into tip number two. And that illustrates tip number two, I’m going to tell you a story that sounds like it makes zero sense. Bear with me. I’m going to wrap this up in a bow for you, but let’s just go there for a second. So tip number two reminds me of, and it’s just so beautifully illustrated by my recent bed shopping experience. You may have heard me talk about it on here. We are redoing our bedroom, and one of the things that were a sticking point. So I woke up on Black Friday and bought all of our bedroom furniture except for our bed. There were a few beds that I liked, but I just couldn’t figure out how I was going to make them work in the room. And one of the things that actually was very perplexing to me was that all of the beds I liked were platform beds. We have a box spring. For those of you that are not familiar with a box spring, I don’t know if this is like a North American thing or US thing, or maybe it’s just some places that don’t have box springs. But it’s like a mattress that goes under the mattress so it’s like a double-decker situation. And I’m looking at all these beds and I’m like, okay, these are beautiful. I love a mix of mid-century modern and boho, like urban outfitters. I don’t know what you call that cross-over, but that’s the mood board, if you will, for the room.
And I’m like, I don’t understand. This is going to look ridiculous. My box spring is totally going to be sticking out. I need a bed frame that’s going to hide the box spring. And I was having a hard time even finding options of bed frames that were going to hide the box spring. And I was just getting really frustrated and confused. And so, I took it to Instagram. I literally shared one of the beds that I was looking at and I was like, okay, I’m loving this bed. But I can’t make this work with my box spring. There’s nobody using a box spring anymore. Where do I find bed frames that hide box springs? What do I do? And I was flooded with messages of people like, yes, no people don’t use box springs anymore. How did I miss this memo? Where was the We don’t use box spring memo? I don’t know. So I really don’t know how people have been communicating this to each other if this was like a silent decision that everyone made to stop using box springs.
But I was, I don’t know, mind-blown just sounds so ridiculous, but it really was like, wait, what? Here I am looking for bed frames to hide my box spring. It had not occurred to me that I could just not use the box spring. We’ve always had a box spring. Why? I don’t really know, it’s just we were somewhere along the line told that we needed to have a box spring. And so just foregoing this box spring just had not, I don’t know, I hadn’t even considered it. So it’s this hysterical and very enlightening. And also very exciting because now I could buy the exact bed that I wanted. But it really got me thinking of how many times this happens in business? We’ve been doing something a certain way. We’re surrounded by other people doing business a certain way. Something has worked for us. And when we set a goal, sometimes the goal is to do that thing more of like, okay, I did this, this many times and it worked so next year I’m going to work harder and I’m going to do that thing more times. Sometimes that’s not what we do. Sometimes we’re like, this other person’s business model looks a way cooler than ours, and I’m just going to totally forego everything and try this out. But other times we just get stuck and we don’t even make the goal going back to tip number one, we just get so stuck on the how that we just don’t change. We don’t do. We don’t make that decision. We don’t even make the goal. So this whole bed shopping scenario got me thinking. I always have business analogies. I love finding inspiration in weird places like shopping on Wayfair for a new bed. But it got me thinking, and just to be the total cheese ball here. I’m going to go there. We need to think outside the box spring. And I’m like, it’s so obvious and everyone always has to think outside the box. But literally, in this scenario with my bed, I was so stuck on finding a bed to hide the box spring that I didn’t let myself see these other opportunities or realize that I could have these other beds that I really love that would “show” the box spring because I didn’t even need to have the box spring. I just wasn’t even seeing that really obvious solution because I had never heard of people not using box springs before. And we’ve always used one. And I don’t know, why did we start using one? Why would we stop using one?
This happens in business all of the time. We know what we know, and we know what we see others around us doing. And sometimes, that means that our version of growing is doing the thing that was working more and more and more and more which sometimes works, but also sometimes does not work. Sometimes the thing that we’re doing is working does not scale. Sometimes the thing that we’re doing is working is going to completely burn us out at scale. And sometimes, it’s just that good old like, what got you here won’t get you here, and won’t get you there, whatever that is. It’s not going to get you to that goal. And other times, probably the most common is we want the goal. We have the number in our head of the number could be revenue, the number could be a number of clients or subscribers or customers or whatever it is. But we literally can’t even see the pathway there because we’re looking at what we know we’re looking at what we’ve seen. We’re looking inside of the box and not realizing this whole other opportunity for us because we just don’t know it. We can’t see it because we don’t know it. Because it is so different because it’s a completely new container just like, it’s a completely new bed frame. It’s a completely new framework. Oh my God, I could be a total cheese ball on this. But it’s true. It’s so true, and we can’t see it. And I would say, that’s the thing I see the most is people that you don’t even set the goal because you can’t even see how you can do the goal. You don’t even know that that’s available for you. You don’t even know that this whole other way of doing business isn’t available for you. And this can show up as, well, I couldn’t do that because I couldn’t respond to that many DMs myself, where you’re not seeing the opportunity that somebody else could be helping you with your DMs.
This shows up in a lot of ways where we’re stuck on doing business a certain way because we’ve always done business a certain way. And so we think because we’re doing maybe a done-for-you service for our clients that there isn’t a way that they could do it for themselves with a product we create. Or that we could hire and train someone else to do that exact service for them, not us doing it, someone else doing it. And we can train them to do it just as good as us. Or that we could be having more people in our programs by bringing in more coaches and support team members to handle those things.
I recently got caught up. One of the bottlenecks in my business was a weekly email going out to our mastermind clients and I was the bottleneck with writing the email. And so I was like, okay, let’s have someone who’s ever a program manager, write the email. She’ll draft it for me, and then I’ll take a look at it and make any changes or whatever, and then we’ll send it out. And what I was noticing as I was getting that draft, and then I probably drive people crazy on my team. So I’m really particular about the way that I “talk” like a copy, and whether I’m talking here or talking through email, I say things a certain way and I phrase things a certain way. And it’s hard if any of you have done this. It’s really hard to pass that over to someone else in terms of communicating for you in that way.
So even though I was getting that final pass, I was realizing, I was just being really nit-picky and changing a bunch of things just because I’m like, oh, I would never say it like that. Or I wouldn’t phrase it like that, or oh, I want to make sure we do this or oh, I feel bad if we don’t say this. And just overthinking it and it wasn’t really taking anything off of my plate. And I realized, oh, what if, you guys are going to laugh because it’s so obvious. What if the weekly email just came from our program manager? We have the weekly email that didn’t have to come from me. There’s no inherent value of the email coming from me. In fact, I want our clients to get to know our program manager more because she’s there to support them, important to them. And having her be that weekly presence of keeping them in the know of what’s going on makes a lot of sense. And if it’s coming from her and she knows what we want to be sharing, I don’t need to get all nit-picky about phrasing, and I wouldn’t say that like that because it’s not me saying it.
It’s her saying it. And so that takes that pressure off of me, and I can just trust her to do the thing and truly get that task off of my plate. Now, this is a very small micro example of my business of thinking outside the “box spring” here. But sometimes, we’re so set in doing things a certain way of the email has to come from me that I hadn’t even thought that the email could come from someone else. And that would truly free up that time. And so when we’re so close to our own business, to our own way of doing things, it’s really hard to see these other opportunities. And me, even planting the seed of how could she be doing things differently to get to that goal? Or what’s the goal you really want that you haven’t put down because you don’t know how you’re going to do it? What’s the other way that you can accomplish that? So we actually can commit to that goal and we can find a new path that can get you there. And maybe that path is easier than the one that you’re on. And you just don’t know about it, or you didn’t think it was possible for you yet, or you made some weird rule in your head like, oh, I can’t do something like that until I’ve done this. We all have these weird rules that we make for ourselves. I don’t know where they come from, but I know this is the thing.
So for you, if this is you, if you’re like, oh, you got me on this. I know, I don’t know what it is. You might not know what it is yet. You might just feel like I know that this is me, but I don’t really know what the answer is. Or I don’t even really know the places where I am. Not seeing that other path, you just have a sense maybe that this could be you. So my advice for you, my tip for you here, of course, is the think outside the box spring. But to make this more actionable for you because it’s like, what does that even mean? How do you think outside the box, what is that? To find the box, to find outside the box, how does one do this? And my advice for you to implement this is to question everything. And not in a judgy way, sometimes when we think about questioning, it’s like, why are you doing it like that? Our inner voice can be judgy or we’re afraid of our own judgment of ourselves or of a judgment of other people. And so we don’t want to question things because we think, oh, if I’m questioning if maybe I’ve been doing it wrong the whole way, the whole time. And what does that mean about me? And we make it into something it’s not. So no judgment. Judgement-free zone here, but I want you to just follow the curiosity.
Curiosity kills resistance. I’m going to say that again. Curiosity kills resistance. So when you stay in that place of curiosity, like I wonder if there was a different way to do this. I wonder if we tried this another way. I wonder if there’s someone else who could do this. I wonder what would happen if we didn’t do this thing at all. When you just approach it from that place of curiosity, you’re opening yourself up to find new solutions. You might be able to find them yourself. A lot of times, this is the work that you would do with a coach. This is work that I do with my private clients. If you’re in a mastermind, you can certainly be bringing these types of questions to your mastermind group. You want to really if you have a team, you can bring up with your team members. Typically, you’re going to need to have someone outside of you who can really help you question things in a way that you hadn’t thought of before because we’re all just so darn close to our own businesses. We can’t see these things. But if you train yourself to think like this, you will start seeing opportunities just like I did with that email. You’ll start to see those little things. And oftentimes when you find the little things, they will lead you to the bigger thing. So there’s your tip number two. Think outside the box spring and lean into that. How can you be questioning everything and just trusting that curiosity is going to kill that resistance? If you’re like, oh, I don’t know what to do. The curiosity is going to help you get through that.
Okay, moving on to tip number three. Now, for tip number three, where I see people going wrong, where I see people struggling with their goals is that they write them down or they put them in a pretty planner and then, and then, then. And then nothing. And sometimes you even put them on a vision board. But it’s just, sometimes people make vision boards and it’s just like numbers but in a pretty branded font. And sometimes it’s just like, I don’t know, pictures cut out from magazines or motivational quotes, but it feels empty. And so the struggle with this is that you’re disconnected from your goals. So you go through in a very logical, may be very methodical, maybe just to put your CEO cap on and you’re like, yes, these are the goals. I’m thinking it through. I got the plan. I’m doing all this strategically here. But then what? Then nothing. Then you’re disconnected from them. You don’t feel anything from the goals. Maybe you feel a little excited, but you don’t have a plan to revisit it. And if you do a vision board, it’s maybe it’s beautiful. Maybe it’s not beautiful. It’s probably beautiful if you’re going to do one, but if it doesn’t make you feel anything, then you can get very detached from your goals. Which being detached from your goals on some levels is not a bad thing. But the ideal scenario, and that’s a whole nother conversation. For those of you that are like, well, if you’re too attached to your goals and that can bind you to other things, yes, I agree. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t worry about it. But the ideal scenario with your goals is that they inspire something in you. They spark something in you that it’s not just a number on a piece of paper or a pretty picture, but that it truly light something up inside of you that the light ignites this fire where you’re like, yes, that’s what I want and I feel it. And I’m there and I’m on the path, and you’re motivated. And you’re inspired to go and do the thing. And I’ll tell you that maybe you don’t need that spark to get started, but you need that flame to keep going because things are going to be hard. Things are going to get in your way. And being connected to that true why, that true purpose behind the goals, that’s what’s going to keep you going through those rough spots. And that’s what’s going to keep you grounded through the high points. To really keep your eye on the “prize” and not that it’s this magic number, but that it truly means something to you and it means something an impact to you, to your family, to the people that who you help in your community. There’s a ripple effect of you hitting your goals. And tapping into that, I think, is the secret sauce to actually making them happen. So that’s it.
What’s the tip here? Okay, so we shouldn’t do that. What should we do? I definitely recommend doing a vision board and not because it’s trendy and not because it’s fun, although it is, for me at least, but not because it’s a vision, not even because it’s visual. I do believe that you can visualize your goals without a vision board. But I want you to go through the process of making that vision board to really tap into what is that connection you have with the goals? What is that emotional connection? If you bring these if you make these goals happen if you bring these things to life, what does that mean? What does that mean for you? What does that mean for your community, for your family? What is that ripple effect, and how does that make you feel? Because of that emotional connection with your goal which if you’re like a super logical, analytical person, you’re probably like, this is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard, Jaclyn. But bear with me because there’s something here. There really is. If it’s just a number on a piece of paper, that is not inspiring. And if you’re not inspired by it, you’re going to have a hard time inspiring others. And whatever you’re doing, you’re in the business of inspiring others.
So I want you to really tap into that. So make your vision board, but find those things, find those words or quotes that really make you feel something. Think about if one of your goals is revenue-based, what does that money mean? What are you going to do with that money? And then don’t just stop there because I think a lot of people stop there and they’re like, okay, well I want to go to this island and I want to get this new house or redo my kitchen or take a family vacation or buy a new car, whatever. It’s like very surface-level stuff, that’s fine. If those are the things that you want, then take it a step further of what would that vacation make you feel? What would you feel cooking dinner? How are you going to feel cooking dinner in your new kitchen? How are you going to feel laying on the beach on that vacation? How are you going to feel going somewhere with your family and on this adventure? Tap into that feeling and then find imagery that connects you with that feeling. And something that a lot of people don’t think about in their vision board is that you can actually use your own images in your vision board. So if you’ve taken a similar vacation before, that can be part of your vision board. And in fact, you might think, well, oh, that was it. That was it. This kind of a place and we want to go somewhere fancier or whatever. But the idea with the vision board isn’t to pick the fanciest thing that you ever want, it’s to connect you with that feeling, with that emotion of the results that you’re going for. So if an old family vacation photo, maybe it wasn’t someplace fancy, but maybe it was in a friend’s pool or something that you had that feeling, and you have a picture that captures that emotion, then that picture can actually help you be reminded of that feeling that you’re seeking.
A lot of times we’re just not even aware of this stuff. We’re just like, okay, I do the business things and I set the goals and we don’t even think about why. Why make more money this year? Why help more people this year? What’s the point? Really, why? That’s what I want you to answer. Why is that important to you? How is that going to make you feel? How has that, literally just in itself, how’s it going to make you feel? And then if you’re going to make more money, are you going to donate to a non-profit that you really care about? And then not just that but how are you going to feel when you do that, and how are those people going to feel? And how can you tap into that? So with the vision board, it’s not just about what do I want? It’s really, what do I want to feel? And how can you get images, get pictures either from your past, even if they’re not the thing, the exact thing that you want? But if it helps you tap into that feeling, or how can you find pictures on Pinterest or magazines that are going to help you stay close and connected to that true why, that true purpose? Because that is how you stay close to that inspiration. And when you’re there, when you keep that top of mind, you could tell yourself your numbers every single day. It’s not exactly motivating. But if you go there every day, if you allow yourself to really connect with those feelings and feel those feelings of how you want to feel, if you will allow yourself to feel them now in some way, shape, or form, that is going to fast track you. That is, I don’t even know what you want to call it, but that’s what we’re going for here. And that’s what I think the missing link is with setting goals, especially if you’re taking a goal that maybe someone else thinks you should have, or you’re like, well, I’ve been in business this long, so I should be making this much. And it doesn’t really mean anything to you. It’s hard to get inspired by that. It’s hard to stick the course with that. And I think it’s hard to see new possibilities with that because it doesn’t really mean anything. But when we find the meaning, when we find that connection, that is when we close the gap of this thing that we’re putting up on a pedestal. And I think this is the real tip here. So it started with, visualizing your goals but it’s really, gets into that energy of feeling how you want to feel.
Okay, I think I went off on a little bit of a tangent here so I want to reel this back in. So your tip number three is to connect, to connect to the feeling of accomplishing your goals. And I think the best way to do that is through a vision board that is all based on how you want to feel. And grabbing images either from your own pictures from the past or present or from other people’s images that you’re able to find online or in magazines, but capturing images and words that evoke that feeling in you that you want to have from the result of achieving whatever your goals are.
Now, one of the obstacles that people get with this, so okay, there’s your tip but sometimes there’s this hurdle and the hurdle is that we’ve put our own goals on a pedestal. And it’s like, oh, well, I would love to be featured in this publication, or I’d love to make this much money. For me, early on in my business, I really wanted to be featured in Forbes. I think early on in my business, unwittingly, unknowingly, I put that up on a pedestal of, oh, only people who are making this much money get featured in Forbes, or only people who have been in business this long or who look a certain way, or who have a certain kind of business, or have a certain kind of connections get featured in Forbes. And I totally unconsciously had made these stories about it. And it was interesting. It was in the last year, again, unconsciously, my feelings around that had changed. And in fact, so much so that my brother called me out on this that when I was featured in Forbes in the fall, I was talking to my brother and my brother is so sweet. He sent flowers, and it was just making a big deal about it. And I was like, oh, thanks so much. You’re so sweet. And I’m like, but it’s not that big of a deal. I’m like, I don’t know. I feel like most of my friends and even half of my clients have been featured in Forbes. And he’s like, you realize that’s not normal. It’s like, yes. He’s like, maybe in your circle, it is the norm. And you may not feel right now that it’s this big deal, but it is a big deal. And that really made me think, and I was like, okay, I get it. I get it. And listen, not that I think that you should think that nothing’s a big deal because it did snap me back into that moment of the gratitude and the acknowledgment of, wow, this is something I’ve wanted for a while. And I’m really excited that it happened, and not to just brush it off. But at the same time, I think it was that energy of, well, of course, everyone’s in Forbes, and of course, I could be in Forbes.
That even allowed me to see the opportunity. I think I shared in part one, if I did not believe that it was possible for me to be in Forbes, I would not have been in Forbes because the other way the opportunity came to me, I would have thought that it was a scam. I would have thought that it wasn’t real. I literally just would never have even gotten that far in the opportunity because I would never have thought that it could happen like that. And I think that happens a lot is when we don’t see these opportunities because we don’t believe they’re available to us. We’re not open to seeing them. So this all ties back to tip number one here. But it is so important that we take our goals off a pedestal, or they will always be out of reach. So how do we do that? How do we take a goal off of a pedestal? We build a bridge. And that’s the simplest way I can describe it to you, but it’s okay, if there’s this thing that in your head you’re like, oh, well, I would love this to be my goal. And you’re like, this is my goal for the year. But in your head, you know that you’re putting it up on that pedestal, you know that you feel like it’s out of reach.
One, ask yourself why. Unpack that. And then how can you build the bridge? What is the bridge look like from where you are now to achieving that goal? And when you start to see that, when you start to see that pathway there, when you start to connect where you are now to that goal, it starts to come off the pedestal. Because as long as it’s on the pedestal, it’s going to remain out of reach for you. But as soon as you start to see that it’s not out of reach, it’s just a little bit further on the path, then you could put yourself on the path to get there. So with your vision board, and that’s where I talk about tapping into that feeling, that feeling is the bridge. So if you, let’s say Forbes is one of your goals for this year. You want that to be one of your goals for this year but it feels out of reach for you, what does getting featured in Forbes mean to you? And maybe there’s some type of feeling of recognition or acknowledgment that comes up when you think about that. So when else have you felt that, and it doesn’t have to be in direct relation to your business. Maybe you won an award in high school or college, maybe you won an award in your community that’s totally unrelated to your business. Or maybe something that is related to your business. Maybe you’ve been featured, we were literally on the cover of a local magazine here in Pittsburgh neighbors. My family and I were on the cover year and a half ago or something like that.
So maybe there was something local that you were featured in or an online publication you were featured in. So think about those things. And maybe you put a collection of those on your vision board along with Forbes or entrepreneur or Business Insider, or those other places that you want to be featured. And that way, you’re able to connect to that feeling of what it was like to get that recognition or be shared in a publication even if it was a small one. You’re able to build that bridge to the feeling because you felt it before. Now, it doesn’t seem that far off, it’s just a different kind of publication. It doesn’t have to be this big, fancy thing on a pedestal. And that’s how you can build a bridge and really, I hate to say fast track because it sounds so scammy. That’s how you fast-track your goals. But if your goals all feel out of reach, this process can take you can do it the unconscious way. As for me, it took five years to get featured in Forbes.
So I was not conscious of any of this. I wasn’t thinking about it like that. And it happened. But it happened when my mindset caught up with it. And for you, the faster you shift your mindset and get into that right frame of mind, that’s when you’re going to go after those opportunities, see those opportunities. You’re going to see that bridge to the goal a lot faster. So when I say fast track, that’s what I mean, is that a lot of these goals that you want, it’s not a matter of if but when. And so that’s fine. You can just wait. You can just ride the course. And if it’s something you really want, eventually it’ll probably happen. But if you want it to happen this year or next year, and you want to speed up that natural course of maybe when it would happen on its own, just happenstance wise, and you get intentional and strategic, this is part of the mindset that goes along with aligning with those bigger goals that might feel like a stretch. You need to align what you believe is possible with the goals that you want to make happen.
So, that is a wrap. Those are your three tips. So I’m not going to share all of the tips like a recap because I really want you to go back and listen to part one if you have not already. But these are three tips that I truly know that if you take to heart if you implement if you do that work, and a lot of times this is the inner work to do this alongside the goals that you’re setting, that you will set the right goals for you and you will make them happen this year. I am cheering you on. So excited to hear how your goals come out. Please, please, please send me a message on Instagram if this episode resonated with you. Also, if it inspired you with your goals for next year. Who else do you know that needs to hear this? Send them a text. Send them a DM. Take a screenshot. Share it on your Instagram Stories. I would so appreciate you sharing the word, and I know they will appreciate you too for actually helping them get on the right track with their goals. So thanks for hanging out with me today. So excited to see you, to see you stretch your limits of what you think is possible. I’m so excited to see you take that leap to get your hopes up and to really go for it. I’m cheering you on, and can’t wait to see what you do in the new year.
Can I just say thank you so much for listening? I don’t think I can say it enough, but I love that you are here. If you enjoy today’s episode, or if you’ve been getting value from this podcast, can you do me a quick favor? Head on over to iTunes and leave a rating and review. When you leave a rating and review, it basically tells iTunes that they need to spread the word and tell more people about this podcast, I am on a mission to get the word out. I’m so grateful for your support. We want to make sure to shout you out too. So if you do leave a rating and review, keep your eyes and ears open. We will be either shouting out in the podcast or on Instagram Stories.
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