Creating Your Own Opportunities for Success with Beth Nydick

Jaclyn Mellone  

Welcome to Go-To Gal, Episode Number 173.As always, I’m your host, Jaclyn Mellone. And today, I’m so excited to share with you, our guest, my friend, the amazing Beth Nydick. Now, Beth and I go way back, we’ve worked together in a number of ways. And we’ve really developed a friendship over the years. And seeing her business grow, seeing her grow, and seeing all these amazing opportunities that she has created is really what inspired me to one have this conversation with her, but also have this conversation with her on the podcast, so you can hear it too. Often people ask me or other people “How did you do that? How did you make that happen?”. Nobody talks about with these opportunities that just seemed to, I don’t know, sometimes we think ” Oh, well, of course that happens to them.” Or “Well, when I have this or that, then I’ll be able to go after or get those kinds of opportunities.” But that’s not how it works. And often it’s the opposite. 

This is the conversation I feel like I’ve been waiting to have with you. And I’m so excited to have Beth here to share so many of her opportunities that she’s had, and really unpack how this happened.  When we look at building momentum in your business, when we look at what it takes to really have that paradigm shift that takes you from where you are to really up- leveling and not just incremental, like if we were in a job, and it’s “Oh, there you go, three percent raise. Check the box. You are doing what you’re supposed to be doing or a little above. And we’re just going to give you that little bit.” I know you want more for that and your business. And when we’re really looking to make that paradigm shift, we have to go after things that allow us to make that big leap. 

And with that, that’s where creating your own opportunities before success comes from. This can be applied to visibility. But this can be applied really anything in your business. It’s about creating those opportunities. And how do you do that in a way that feels authentic, and that works for you, but that’s also driving your business forward?  Let’s dive in! I’m going to share some of the things with my own business. But our guest today, Beth has done some truly incredible things, has opened some doors that I think most of us wouldn’t even know “How to find out that they exist?”. I’m really excited to have her unpack some of those stories and share with us the steps that it takes to be creating our own opportunities. Before we dive into this conversation, let me formally introduce you to Beth. 

 Beth Nydick is a speaker, author, podcast host and magnetic business mentor. A big believer in the power of potential to catapult your business forward through her mantra of making potential possible. She co-authored the top-rated cookbook “Clean Cocktails: Righteous Recipes for the Modernist Mixologist” that has a sixth sense for business and strategy. Best shows her clients how to intentionally prepare their business and leverage exposure through collaboration and media so they can make their potential possible, increase credibility and make their mark on the world. As a result of working with Beth Nydick, her clients confidently appear on TV and media with a solid business foundation. But without years of disappointment and confusion around publicity, Beth has been featured in Oprah, Parade, Forbes, Inc., Nylon Magazine, Tory Burch and Better Homes and Gardens plus appearances on The Dr. Oz Show, the Two and The Tonight Show. Let’s get to it. Here is my amazing conversation with Beth.  

Jaclyn Mellone

Beth I’m so excited to have you here today.

Beth Nydick 

Jaclyn. You know I love hanging out with you. Are you kidding me?

Jaclyn Mellone  

I can’t wait. I know we’re going to have a blast today. Before we get in to all of that good stuff, take us back in time to when you were growing up. What were you the Go-To Gal for back then?

Beth Nydick  

Well. When I was little, like Junior High School and that, I was a secret keeper. I was definitely the girl that people went to tell their secrets to, to talk to. But as I got older, I grew up in the pool in my backyard. I actually was the go-to party house growing up.

Jaclyn Mellone  

Okay. That makes me a little bit nervous because we have a pool.

Beth Nydick  

We’ll have to offline those conversations. I have hacks and tips that I had for my mom did that worked.

Jaclyn Mellone  

Okay. Noted. But I absolutely see that for you. And I think that ties into a portion of Your business at least now. Fast forward to today. Tell us what do you do? And who do you help?

Beth Nydick  

Well, thank you so much. I’m a publicity strategist. Which means not only do I help my clients, get media, but make sure their business is ready for it and leverage it on the other side for client’s credibility and cash. It’s all about having those real authentic relationships with your community, so that you can get that exposure that you need to reach the audience you really want, but doing it very authentically and vulnerably. It’s really important to me, for my clients to show up as they are and not to be trying to be somebody else. 

Jaclyn Mellone  

I love how you put that. And I feel like when it comes to publicity, a lot of people think they do need to show up differently. What do you see there? Are people trying to, I don’t know? What is that?

Beth Nydick  

I always say this to my clients “People can see when your fake, and they love you when you’re real. “I was actually on a call the other day, and they were talking about how they were going to present themselves and how they were going to position themselves and I was “Can’t you just be you? If that’s so much better?” Jaclyn, I have to tell you that when I do videos, or reels and put that stuff out there, that’s about how I’m feeling about my business, about being a mom. I did a video I think it’s almost five years ago. I entitled it “Struggling”. And I literally was sitting in this room. I was like “Guys; I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I don’t know if this is working. Can you just give me some feedback? It was really freaking hard. People still DM me that the video helped them. That’s proof to me that being your honest real self and sharing the struggles of being for me, a mom of teenage boys in America really makes a difference for the reaction that I get and the response that I get. Because we can go on Tik Tok and Instagram and see those people who are putting it on and you can tell. There’s just something off, especially talking about TV and showing up in video. People can see when you’re nervous, but they can also see when you’re faking it. And I was “Fake it until you make it” stuff just doesn’t work anymore.

Jaclyn Mellone  

It’s so true. I think, though, that we’re in a time where that question of “Just be you.” can feel hard. Because well, “Who am I?” That’s the bigger question. And it’s so easy when I don’t know when everyone’s telling you to be a certain way or even the transition to motherhood. I know for me that really led to a while of me losing myself in that of “Well, who am I now in this new version of my life and everything?” Sometimes it’s hard to be “Well, who am I showing up?” I find that. I don’t know what’s going through the branding process over the years. It’s something I keep revisiting and have revisited again this year. It’s almost like therapy, because it’s like coming back to “Who am I really? And what have I been unintentionally masking or not showing?” Because I don’t know. I just subconsciously thought that I wasn’t supposed to be that or I was supposed to act a certain way to be professional or something.

Beth Nydick  

That makes little sense. But I think of it like this. How are you being in this season?  Think of it like our businesses. What are you creating for yourself in this quarter? There’s four quarters, there’s four seasons. I live in Jersey somewhere else. It might not be four seasons, like there is here. But there’s definitely four seasons here. And how are you feeling as you? Because next quarter, you can show up differently, because you’re feeling differently about your business or about yourself. My oldest is going to college in August. Who am I going to be with a kid in college? How is that going to differentiate in my life. And that’s what’s what I go back to. Being real with our audience and being real with our friends and our community, and wherever we are and voicing what’s going on for us, that’s the real you.  When you can share your struggles and be safe and feel good about sharing them because you’re helping other people. Yes. That’s where I go to. I grew up with doing a lot of charity work and really working with my community. Of course, you know, me, I was on the board of everything. Because I just have to be that other middle child that works that way. But being able to be who you are right now and not worrying about who you’re supposed to be and who you’re going to be next year. I think that really helps me and I don’t know about your business. But when I started really showing up as myself and letting go of the hustle and letting go of the “How I’m supposed to be?” my business exploded, seriously exploded this year. 

Last year did not explode, this year. First quarter, I had the best first quarter I had in two years, because I just let everything go. It was just showing up on as me. And if you go back and look at my videos, I’m telling you I’m having a hard day. I’m telling you that I’m feeling successful, and it feels weird and doesn’t feel good. And I don’t know what to do. My audience really likes that. And it’s really reflective of how I’ve been in my life the whole time. I guess I’m a little overshare. 

Jaclyn Mellone  

That’s good. No, I love that. For me, it was never as I wasn’t sharing myself and then I flipped a switch and I was. I think there were different places where I show up just more authentically. naturally the podcast being one of those places for me and giving myself that space to even show up on other platforms. And in that same way is something I have done that. You have to be more intentional about something. I still need to be more intentional about. Although, I do think this past maybe year and a half I’ve done a better job of doing that through writing and my e-mail list. I am still working on bringing that more into social media but I don’t know. I think having a podcast co-host when I first launched my first podcast five and a half years ago, we’re like the besties. It was easy to just share and talk about things and be the real me because of that environment. Now, it’s interesting because we’re not always the same. Maybe my “giggly self” with my co-host was not always how I was in other relationships in my life. But I think that put me in a state to just be more open and sharing right from the get-go and like that capacity.

Beth Nydick  

And I agree with you on totally that. Sometimes I share things on podcast, and I’m like ” Did I just say that?”  I forget that it goes out to the world, and we’re not just having conversation.

Jaclyn Mellone  

That’s a good thing, though. I think the forgetting is the good thing.

Beth Nydick  

I agree with you. It is a good thing. And I think that’s a good example for other people to be like “If she can share that on the podcast, I can talk to my best friend about what’s bothering me, because that’s what it really comes down to.” And that’s what I think that we just want people to be feel happy and feel successful and feel contented with who they are and where they’re being. I just talked about your marketing message, and then your media message and what your underlining message is for your whole business. I don’t know if you think of it this way. My media messages undiscovered to unforgettable.  My marketing message is about leverage and visibility. What my underlining message is “I want you to create your own opportunities for success.” And no matter what you’re doing, if that’s bedtime. I want you to be able to create the opportunities for success by getting information and support, whatever.  If it’s being on TV, if it’s running for office, whatever it is, I want you to find those opportunities for yourself so that you can create your own success, so that you can fall into that and feel empowered by your own stuff. Like we always talk about being empowered by everybody else. But when you can be empowered by yourself, there’s nothing better and it’s a stain due for longer. I think we have to go back. I know that I’m starting to share that underlining message more so that people can hear what I actually have to say.

Jaclyn Mellone  

I want you to elaborate on this. What is the difference between the media message and the underlining message? I do not have this buttoned-up as beautifully as you do. I’m like “Tell me all the things we need to hear this.”

Beth Nydick  

Okay. Your media message, right? It’s something you want, as catchy as a hook gets people to lean in. Your underlining message is what comes from your heart and why you’re actually getting out of bed every morning and doing this. Because as you and I know, and a lot of people listening entrepreneurships is not easy, my loves. This is not a game. This is not always fun. This is really hard. If you don’t have that underlining message, or Dr. Dean Graziano says, it’s like “You’re doing a disservice to the world if you don’t give your gifts to the people.” That’s his underlining message. That’s what he really wants you to learn. 

For your business, can you think what’s your underlining message or that one thing that you want everybody to learn, so that you can feel like you’ve made a difference in the world? Because I love getting my clients on TV and magazines and podcasts, and I’m making a difference in their life. But I feel like my message, the underlining message, the creating your own opportunity for success message can really change things that happen in the world. And for me, it’s through here in New Jersey today, I didn’t want to get out of bed really. I of course, I got out of bed for you. But it’s early in the morning of recording this, but it keeps me going. Because I like and I really subscribe to Chris Winfield and Jen Gottlieb have this saying it’s “Help one person every day. ” And I really, really subscribe to that. 

Jaclyn Mellone  

I love that, the simplicity of that. But the ripple effect of actually helping one person every day it’s just, you can’t even imagine that. Yes, absolutely. That’s a tremendous ripple effect.

Beth Nydick  

How many times do you finish a day and you’re like “Oh, I got nothing accomplished?” But then if you sit back and really think about it, you’re like “Oh, I helped my friend figure out how to do it real.” That’s helping one person. You made a difference in her life or his life. 

Jaclyn Mellone  

Yes. That’s true. And when you help someone you feel good, and that does encourage you to keep going even if it’s not completely related to what you’re doing, you’re just putting that good energy out there. I don’t have a perfectly curated like ” This is my underlying message.” But for me, I think it’s something about radical self-love. And then harnessing that to then. Because I think when you have that, when you have that radical self-love, self-acceptance, I don’t like using the word acceptance. Because that feels like I’m barely accepting it. But they go hand in hand, then that enables you to be able to really use your voice and show up in all these different ways to make a difference. I think that’s what my underlying messages I don’t have a buttoned-up way of saying that but that all for me. You inspire me to keep growing with this and maybe to be more vocal about the fact that is that is my underlying message.

Beth Nydick  

When you said it I was “Of course it is. That feels so right.” We can vote what your branding is and how you make people feel but on a personal level effect, that’s what you’re about. That’s what the differences I think, between marketing media and your underlining, like “What is we really all about?” Because our marketing message, we hire our copywriters, we hire people to write that or our media message. If you hire me and my publicist for that, but what you come down to.

I don’t know if you know this, but I’m an interim foster mom. Which means in many states in the country, if I have a baby, and I don’t know if I can keep the baby, somebody like you get to keep my baby for a couple days safe, healthy and happy. Then I can be secure and that my baby’s being taken care of and I can figure out what I’m doing.  A lot of times the baby then goes directly into adoption. That’s why I like it because there is not interim foster. It’s not “I’m the interim, I’m the foster care part.” There’s the adoption part. But even like that, I am creating the opportunity for a baby to be successful. I can be a part of that. That mom’s success in her life by just creating the opportunity to give her some space. If it shows up in your life, that’s your underlining message, so I don’t want people listening to be like “I don’t have one of those.” You do. Look at what your life is, and look what you do. I always say “If you have little kids, ask them. “What’s the most important to mommy and daddy?” They’ll tell you and they see right through everything else.

Jaclyn Mellone 

 That’s so good. And it’s true. Because we can do so many different things, especially those of us who are multi-passionate. Our business can pivot a million times. But I think we’ll always see that underlining message shine through and whatever it is that we do, because it is it’s just so true to us. 

Beth Nydick  

And then taking that and running with that and seeing how that feels in your life, I was like “Don’t ask your sister and brother because they’re not going to be nice about it. Talk to them like that. They’re not going to understand. Check when how many times are you like “There’s something going on your business or in your branding” What you’re doing and you talk to somebody who’s not in this world, and they look at you like you have 16 heads, and they’re not helpful, and they’re like “Okay, forget it. I’m going to find somebody else.” I love my siblings, but they don’t quite get there. They’re like “What do you do again?”

Jaclyn Mellone  

Oh, my goodness. Well, my brother’s seven years younger than me. And he’s not in this space, but he’s definitely interested. He’s read some books with me and being we’ve definitely talked about it. But it’s funny because of, I don’t know if it’s because of the age difference or just because of our personalities. But we don’t have that typical sibling rivalry, that essence of it. He probably would say something very nice. I probably should ask him.

Beth Nydick  

 My siblings are not millennials.

Jaclyn Mellone  

That is the one thing we joke about. Because I’m the “elder millennial”, and he’s just turned 31, so he’s like dead center probably of being a millennial.

Beth Nydick  

He does look like a millennial. I’m not actually it.

Jaclyn Mellone  

I just look like a millennial. You, too look like a millennial. I love it. Okay. One of the things that I am just so fascinated with and impressed with you is your ability to open up doors and create opportunities that you wouldn’t have thought possible. And that’s why I just want to explore a little bit today. Because this is the type of stuff that is not talked about. But it’s “How are we showing up for ourselves in these different ways to even get opportunities or uncover opportunities that we don’t even know exist? I don’t even know where we begin with this, but I’m dying to hear your Jay Leno stories. We start with the Jay Leno story, and then we just go from there.

Beth Nydick  

I actually have a Jasmine Star story that happened yesterday. Let’s start with Jay Leno. I’m in LA, obviously before the pandemic. A long time ago, at the Comedy Store, a friend of mine and I are watching the show, Jay Leno comes on. He starts making fun of my friend and I. “What are you doing? What do you do, making all this stuff cracking everybody up?” I was like “What the hell is going on?” We were young. After the show, he says to me, “What are you going to do with your life?” And I said “I’m going to work for you literally like balls of steel. I’m going to work for you. Can I come to an interview? “He’s like, “Okay.” Next morning, I went down to the studio in Burbank, I interviewed with him. I interviewed with the head of HR. 

They’re for an internship. I was in college this time. And he was like “Your search, but like this was March.” I came back out in June, May, June. And I spent the whole summer working for the tonight show interning, and I was not that I was legendary, but people be like “Are you the one that asked Jay for a job in the Comedy Store?” And I was like “Yes, I am.” But it’s really indicative of how I graded opportunities.  Because I always lean on my “Jersey-ness” and my “middle child” this, but it’s also me like “I’m about opening your mouth and asking for what you want and telling the people around you what you’re trying to accomplish for yourself, so you can enroll them in that idea.” Because when you have a community who’s enrolled in the idea and enrolled in your success, it’s sometimes easier to lean on their confidence to get things done for yourself.

Jaclyn Mellone  

Yes. Okay. I know so many people are listening right now being like “That’s amazing, but I could never do that.” How did you muster up the courage in those moments? Or even just how are you even in the same store as Jay Leno? How does that even happen?

Beth Nydick  

I’m thinking about being in the right room. But for me, I really think it’s “If I don’t say something, I’m going to kick myself.” And then what’s worse, saying something and falling flat. And he could have been like “No.” Or “What’s the worst that can happen?” And I’m sure you have a conversation like this with your clients a lot, too. Or when they’re having a block or they’re not doing something that they want to be doing. You’re like “What’s the worst that can happen?” You look stupid. You’re foolish. They’re not going to yell at you and kill you or hit. Nothing bad is going to happen. I really rely on that piece of it. But if I don’t do it, I’m going to kick myself and I’m going to beat myself up for days and days and days, because the only thing that didn’t allow this opportunity to come to me was me not opening my mouth and it’s not acceptable to me.  

If you can make that piece unacceptable, and you can understand like nothing that’s going to happen other than being embarrassed. I know millions of people being embarrassed is the worst thing in the world. But I have to tell you, if you want to be an entrepreneur, get over it. Get over it. You get the radical self-love from Jaclyn. You got the tough love for me. You want to be successful in this life doing what we do, then you need to open your mouth and ask for what you want and tell people what you’re trying to do. That’s like the basis of what you can accomplish. Just having that in your pocket is amazing. It just did. I’ve seen it happen with so many of my clients. I’m sure you have to. 

Jaclyn Mellone  

It’s so true. What is this Jasmine Star story?

Beth Nydick  

My mom called the house yesterday. I go and I see Jasmine’s in this room, so I was “Oh, I want to hear her”. I love listening to her. I think she’s great. I go into the room because actually I was asking a question. I don’t want to tell you what the question was. But after she asked the question, I commented on the question, because I was like “Jasmine, I’m in your community. And this is what I think.” Because she was asking something about that. And then she stayed on the stage for my question. And while I’m asking my question, she DM me, and I was “You’re going to DM me, baby. You’re going to get it back.” I DM her back. And I’m like a two-rule. We have two interactions, and then I go in for it. And I was like ” Jasmine, I would love to interview you on my podcast. And this is what I’d love to talk about.” which reflected what she had just asked, and what I had just asked, and she wrote “Yes. Definitely.”  And gave me her assistant’s e-mail.

Jaclyn Mellone  

Amazing.

Beth Nydick 

 She could have said, “I don’t do podcast right now or I’ll let you know.” She could have said anything, but she didn’t say anything but giving me her persistence e-mail. I wrote to her assistant, “Hi. I just met Jasmine on Clubhouse. This is the interaction. I screenshotted it.  It wasn’t like some crazy person got this woman’s e-mail and she wrote great, I was actually with a schedule. Like it’s that easy and that piece of it was an opportunity. I knew I had her. But Jaclyn, I have to tell you, I’ve done this before and it always works. If you’re listening to this, and this entices you, I was at a podcasting conference on Zoom. 

I was listening to a podcasting conference with Josh Crappell, who has a huge restaurateur. He was in LA; I think he’s in New York now. I literally wrote to him, “Josh, that was a great presentation. I really love your restaurant.” I just complimented what he was doing in the world. He was, “Thanks a lot. That’s so great, I really appreciate it.” I was like “Josh, if ever would you be interested being in my podcast?” This is the information “dada dada”. Yes, all you have to do is ask. Tell them why you should do it. Relay back to him how we can add to their life. Not like, “Please come on my podcast because I really like you.” No. Let’s discuss something in your life, like being an adult.  I’m like, “Just for full transparency.” I’ve taken Jaclyn’s podcasting classes and her groups and I use her templates, and they work. 

If you’re listening, use my affiliate code. You can sign up for Jaclyn’s class, because it’s amazing. It’s the reason I launched my podcast and it’s the reason, Jaclyn. Honestly, I could cry a little bit, if the opportunities that, that podcast has given me and the opportunity that I took with you to start that podcast has been everything in last two years. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you that, but I appreciate you because of that.

Jaclyn Mellone  

Oh my goodness. You have no idea how much my heart just wants to explode seeing you shine and be in the spotlight with your own podcast and the doors that just opens.  I really do believe that having your own podcast just gives you this unmatched opportunity to find your own voice and really connect with other people in your industry and have conversations that you just would never, in any other world be able to have. It’s just a whole another level of business and opportunity. Yes, I owe so much to my own podcast. Yes, having your program downloaded. Our podcast is very meta. But it isn’t something that I’m just so passionate about. It feels like the easiest thing in the world to sell, because it doesn’t feel like selling. Well everybody, we should do this. Right?

Beth Nydick  

100% and also the credibility it gives you. If you’re a new thought leader or a new expert in your space, and you have a podcast. I can tell you how many times people have said, “I want to work with you, because of the people you have on your podcast.”  They don’t say that directly, but they figure it out, people who might not want to interview me and then they look at my podcast and who I’ve had on. Okay, it’s like a credibility marker, if you don’t have the straight media, but you have a podcast with Jaclyn and I are guests on, the credibility that we give you. It just goes back to that vividness. 

If we think that you are worth spending some time and promoting your podcast, because that’s what we do when we’re guests. We put it out into our people as well that tells your audience or a new audience that you have something to share that’s worth it, that you have something to do that is worth it, that credibility marker is so important.  It’s like having a book, it really is. Again, you’re not selling the podcast, you’re selling the underlining message that you want the world to say. 

Jaclyn Mellone  

Yes. 

Beth Nydick  

In mine, let’s just have a conversation and talk about what real life is behind the spotlight, right? There is the Go-To Gal. I love that you asked, “What are the Go-To Gal about?” Because that’s really what you want to see and what you want to understand about the people you’re speaking to.

Jaclyn Mellone 

It really is. Okay, for these people that don’t have a podcast and they’re like, “Okay, I get it. I get it. Maybe I’m going to launch one this year. Maybe it’s going to be.” Or for people that don’t have a podcast. This is a strategy that, you use this to get on, to work for Jay Leno. Having a podcast definitely helps with being able to invite people on as guests and open up some doors. In that way, this is not the one and only way to be.

Beth Nydick  

Not at all.

Jaclyn Mellone  

Showing up and making these asks. What are some other ways when we think about visibility or opportunities or publicity? How can we be showing up? Especially in a world, we’re not in person and having that opportunity to be at some of these events where we can happenstance run into people.  I love the Clubhouse story with Jasmine Star, because that is a way that we can be doing that now. What are some other ways that we could be showing up for ourselves while doing everything pretty much remotely?

Beth Nydick  

I think this is where you start with the “Ask”. Three ways to ask what you want for success are: Knowing what you want, that’s the most important. You need to know what to ask for. I say, tell everybody. I have a cookbook, the cookbook idea, I was looking for a book agent. I literally went onto my Facebook page in my town. There’s 5000 people in this particular Facebook page, who knows a book agent, each a complete stranger, connected me with friends of theirs, that were book agents. So ask. telling everybody what you want, what you want, and then asking the right people. 

If there’s somebody on your page or somebody that you follow, or someone that you are friends with, or Jaclyn, or someone that you know, I would really like to be connected with them. But Jaclyn, would you introduce me to those people? It goes back to standing up for what you want, enrolling people in the idea of what you’re trying to create.  But it all lays on this, nothing means anything unless you make it mean something. Me asking Jasmine was an opportunity presented to myself that I needed to take and enrolling her in the idea that we could do something together, was what I was trying to do. I work with a content schedule and a weekly schedule. Otherwise, I’m too all over the place. In my schedule, on Mondays and Fridays, I’m literally going onto social media looking for opportunities.

 Opportunities to connect with other people, opportunities to learn and opportunities for me to get exposure for me or my client.  If you go on Facebook, and you look in your groups, and you’re really reading it to figure out where you can support somebody else, because that’s where the opportunity comes in. “Hey, I’m looking for somebody to speak to my group about ex. I speak about ex. Call that person. I use HARO a lot. HARO is Help A Reporter Out. Go to the website, helpareporterout.com.

It’s a listserv. And every day I get journalists and podcasters and bloggers asking for people to come on to their shows. It could be quoted in their newspapers, magazines, podcast, TV shows. Actually it’s how I got on Dr. Oz the first time. But those are all opportunities for you to be successful. It’s finding those opportunities within what you’re doing for you to be successful. You start first. Need to know what you want, telling everybody and finding those right people to help you make that happen. You need to take the confidence, the self-awareness, all that stuff kind of push it to the side because I feel like this.

If you’re in action, there’s no room for Imposter syndrome. There’s no room for “Wait a minute. Can I do this? Am I good enough?” There’s no room for that. When you’re actually on asking people or enrolling them or just telling your world what’s going on with you. There’s no space for that to happen, so that you could be more successful. The more that you do that, unless that noise is loud, the less loud that noises and the more that it goes away. How are we stopped? Sometimes circumstance, but mostly, we’re only stopped by what’s between our ears. We talk about mindset all the time and I’m not one of those mindset people. 

This is my mindset. I don’t let that come in, because it stops me. That’s not supporting me right now.  That’s not working for me, whatever those little thoughts were come in, but because I’m just focus and I’m determined to do what I’m doing, that stuff gets less and less loud. Not all the time, I do have those days where I can’t get out of bed. I suck and everybody hates me. We all have those days, might be around my period. That’s really the way that I’ve done everything for the last 30 plus years.

Jaclyn Mellone  

Do you ever, I know you mentioned embarrassment before, do you ever after making an ask, especially if it’s online, it’s asynchronous, right? It’s not, you’re not getting that. You’re not seeing facial expressions in that moment or getting some type of a verbal response in that moment.  If you’re sending that message, you have to wait and it might be a minute, the longest minute ever. It might be a week. It might be never that we’re getting a response. After you make an ask, do you ever feel that full body embarrassment?

I don’t even know how to describe it. I’m just like “Heebie-jeebies”. This is like that. Just comfort where you’re like “Oh my God. What did I just say, or what are they going to say?” Do you feel that and is there you just work with it? Are there any tips you have on working through that?

Beth Nydick  

I do. And that feeling for me is like the heat from the top of my head goes out my toes. Everything just gets drained out. It’s a wash. My older son plays lacrosse. He’s actually playing in college and he’s a goalie and I learned this from him. When goal goes in or he makes it, makes a mistake, he needs to flush it and move on to the next goal because the next play happens in two seconds. There’s no time, so I really learned from him. I just tried to flush it like “Okay. That didn’t work. Okay, this didn’t work.” I really tried not to let it be a reflection of me, because I go back to. I make everything mean something.  That “No” it’s actually a media. 

I pitch a lot of people who work with me and to do thing. I’m not like a big picture like a cold pitcher. I’m a war pitcher. I have other people to do the cold pitching part of it. But when I get the “No” or I get the non-response, It’s a flush like “Okay. That wasn’t that wasn’t my time. You make up all the stuff. That was just not right now. 

If you can make it mean all these things, but if it doesn’t work right now, then it just doesn’t work right now and it might work in the future. Or if you’re a universe person, this wasn’t the right piece for me. This wasn’t the right collaboration for me. This wasn’t the right thing for me.  But I do. I have to tell you; I have a big thing on my wall that says “Be brave.” I wake up and I say “Be brave.” And I just tried to be brave every day, and I can be brave one percent more than I was brave yesterday. But some days, I’m ten percent less brave that I was the day before. That’s just being normal and human. My teenagers have taught me a lot about humility.

I know you have little ones, minors that almost 17 and almost 19. And they don’t care what I’ve done, or accomplished or who I am. I’m their mom. But teenagers can make a grown woman cry very easily. I’m scared of teenage girls a little bit. I have boys, but they really can take you down a notch.  The best thing actually about being a mom and doing what we do, and I know that your kids will see this because I know you are, seeing them start to create their own things. And seeing them learn the lessons of what I try to teach my audience or lessons that I tried to teach myself every day comes out in them. Jaclyn, I don’t know if I told you that my son started a podcast. 

Jaclyn Mellone  

What? I didn’t know that. That’s amazing.

Beth Nydick  

He’s an aspiring investor. He was listening a little bit when I was doing your course. He’s got his own following. They e-mail him. He’s going to use it for college. He’s a junior high school. He wants to learn about investing, and he couldn’t find anything for high school kids, so he created himself. And I said to him, “Why did you do this?” He’s like ” Well, Mom. I see you solve problems for people all the time. And when I couldn’t find it for myself, I figure I’d create it. That’s what he learned by watching me. And that’s what your kids and hopefully a lot of people listening with their kids are also going to learn watching me. Because I keep getting this message from moms and “littles” and I call them “littles”. Under 15 to me is little. They want their kids to see what they’re doing and grow into it. I’m going to tell everybody right now, they’re going to, except the chills. This part of being a mom is just unbelievable. And I’m relishing in it before they both leave me and go to college. 

Jaclyn Mellone  

Yes. Oh my goodness. I already see that with my daughter. She’s writing a book. It’s totally her own idea. I have not written a book. She’s surpassing me at eight. And it was just it was one of those things where she had a little bit of second-grade drama going on at school. And I had given her a journal, full disclosure. I bought this packet journal from Amazon, and they were supposed to be pink. And they came and they were brown. And I’m horrible at returning things. And then I ended up just giving him to the kids because I don’t want these brown journals that the kids are really excited about them. And they look like little bugs.  

She had this thing happened at school and she came home and she started writing a story about it in the book. And that same day, her Reading tutor from the summer before who actually was a past student of mine, as well. It’s not connected. She reached out and said “I have this new program for kids who want to be authors. Do you think Elena would be interested?” And I’m like “She literally started writing a book today.” And normally, we have to do massive psychological manipulation to get Eleanor to sign for anything like “Oh, you’re a baby, a great swimmer, basketball player.” Pump her up for breaks of “What have you? Just give it a shot.” It’s like eight times and all this and totally twist her arm to get her to try anything new. And I brought this up. And she was like, “Yes, please, please.” And she was so excited. And they’re almost done with it. But how cool! They’re going to publish it. It’s a very long book, but what a brilliant way to get kids to even just enjoy writing. And her creative process going through this. 

I’ve learned so much from it. It’s really inspired me and yes, absolutely. It’s like we’re doing this. I know, it’s easy to say “Oh. We want art. We want this and that for our kids.” And there’s also sometimes this mom-guilt of like “Oh, but I’m doing this and that.” And how amazing to be able to show up in our lives in a way that they’re able to see with her. It’s not that she’s like ” Oh well. Mommy wrote a book.” I haven’t written a book. She’s going to publish a book a wave of. I’m never going to publish a book. But I think it’s that idea of “I have an idea. I can create something I don’t have to wait for anything.” And that’s amazing to see. Yes, that permission for sure that she can just, of course I can ride a bike at a lake. Yes, you could do anything you want. And that’s all I could ever want for her or anyone in our Go-To Gal community, right? 

Beth Nydick  

First of all, congratulations on having a kid who can really step up and be who they want. Because you’re such a good example. I really want to acknowledge you. Because yes, it’s a lot her but it’s a lot you and your husband, so good for you. Good. It was really good mommy moments. I almost feel like “I’ve done the damage. We’ll see what happened. But we have to acknowledge the good and bad mommy moments I read. In my last e-mail, I was writing about a bad mommy moment where I wasn’t paying enough attention to something that the kids needed. Because the eight-year-old doesn’t have all the noise we have. An eight-year-old doesn’t need to be brave because she just knows that she wants to do something.

Let’s take that for us in our 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, or 20s. I forgot them. I forgot the millennials, the millennials all the way up. Let’s take a note from an eight-year-old that if you want to create something, you can create it because you want to create it and that’s it. She was having second-grade drama what actually happened and what were the true stories. And you can say that in your own life. You had an argument with your friend, but she didn’t show up on time and she said this what I really have. I want to create something because I want to create it not because I want to be famous because I want to have a book. But she’s not doing it for any other reason, because then she wants to do it. And if we can learn that lesson from Eleanor, how much easier is our day going to be? I always say like “Ask the little ones because they don’t have the noise in us without the noise is so much more expansive.”

Jaclyn Mellone  

It’s so true. It’s so true. There’s so much we can learn from them. One of the things that you’ve said a few times now that I want to ask you again, about just to unpack a little bit, is this idea of enrolling people in our mission or our goals or anything we’re going after. What does that look like? Or what do you think of element of it is? Because it’s not just about maybe putting it out there, because sometimes you put it out there and it just can lay flat or people don’t feel called to help you or connected at all to that. Have you found anything that helps people really get enrolled in that support?

Beth Nydick  

Yes, 100%. When you ask somebody for their advice about what you’re trying to create, that’s a way of enrolling them in the idea, discussing it with them, letting them support you and what you’re creating. If you and I talk through an issue that I’m having, and I’m like “Okay. I’m going to do this and you’re supporting me.” You’re enrolled in the idea. You had a little piece of creating the idea, or creating the support that I needed for that idea. And that way you can enroll them. And that goes back to what you want and telling people and asking for their support.

If I have anything going on in my business, I’ll give you another example. I was going to sign up for a program, and I wasn’t sure what my intent was. I have a group of women that I meet with, I call it my little bomb squad. I had my mom’s squad to go to. They’re enrolled in everything that I’m creating, because they’re a piece of everything. I’m creating, I asked her advice. I did enroll in it. And I think it’s going to be really successful, but being able to have that support. And those people that are in on the idea ready. 

Even if they’re never vocal again, if I don’t talk to them again, at least they’re in on the idea, so when it comes out. I would say to my clients when I’m working on something I didn’t post it yet Jaclyn, but I did a video this morning, “I’m going to be on the Go-To Gal, I’m so excited.”  I can’t wait to have Jaclyn. Just listen. It’s very cute, you’ll see it, I’m wearing pink, but that enrolls my audience and what I’m accomplishing and what I’m doing. It’s a little bit of sharing what you do, it’s a little bit of asking people to help support you and what you do. And then when you’re having those hard times discussing with them, how you can get out of wherever you are mentally, physically, environmentally to be successful on what you’re trying to do. Enrolling is really getting them involved, so that when it does come out, they’re supportive. You know how many times we put something out there, like you said, “It lays flat.” But if you’ve enrolled 15 people, and you ask those 15 people to support you on that launch on that affiliate, whatever you’re doing, then it’s going to be more successful, because you’ve had all this other.  Let’s talk a little bit energy. You have all this energy behind you from all these people in your life. And this your community or in your audience that wants you to be successful in what you’re trying to do. Just that energy is going to be helpful, but it’s just about opening your mouth. I just give everyone permission, “Open your mouth and tell people your ideas.” I’m sure you’ve heard this a lot too from your clients. But what if they take my idea and run with it? What if they do? What’s going to happen? Oh, no, they’re going to do it that their way. It has nothing to do with you how many publicity coaches are there out there? How many marketing coaches out there? How many books are out there? How many cocktail book, how many books are on the shelf? 

There’s a lot. Let me tell you, because I go to Barnes and Noble and look, but there’s no new ideas. But everyone’s point of view on that idea is a new thing. If you can have the energy behind you, and you can enroll people in the idea also, but you know, it’s a good idea. And that’s the way you can move forward without having all that other stuff get in your way. That’s really what all comes down to is having that people supporting you and not letting yourself stop you. Because I don’t know about you. But last year, we had a huge block through that block was all about enrolling people and helping me get through that block. Just always need to be creating something. We’re on a podcast, so we have to be transparent, I was having a big block about people showing up for me, you know, and I was starting to tell my mom squat. And I was starting to tell my audience and the support that I got actually allowed me to work through the block. And now I don’t you know, now, I hope that I’m not that as much anymore, but it helps me do that.

Jaclyn Mellone  

Yes, I there’s so much power in one. And I think you know, we’ve all heard “Oh, share the behind the scenes.” But this is such a great “Why?” to attach to why we’re sharing about behind the scenes. That it’s not just because people want to see behind the scenes, but when you’re sharing that they do they get enrolled in what you’re working towards. They become part of the process and it makes it more than just about us which makes it more fun. That’s how I think about things like that. And I love how you broke this down and the simplicity of it. But really just when we keep everything to ourselves that’s so freaking lonely and heavy and at all right. It may feel heavy to share something if you don’t know the outcome of it. But when you start to let go of that outcome and really let people in on what’s going on in that journey, that’s when they connect with you and they connect with your mission. And they say they get enrolled in this, so they really can support you in different ways and even just be there to celebrate with you when you are ready to celebrate whatever it is that is happening big or small.

Beth Nydick  

It’s so important. And Jaclyn, you’ve been there for me. We have a nice friendship, which I really appreciate. I love you. But even enrolling you in what I was dealing with helped me move through it. It’s not about like enrolling for what you’re trying to do everywhere. But it’s also it’s enrolling somebody and being supportive of your life and being a part of your life, too. I want people to understand, we don’t do this alone. I have a nice team of people, and I pay. Some I don’t pay. A lot, I don’t pay. But it’s really having my friends support me, and knowing that they’re going to show up and knowing if I’m like “I was just having a bad day, can we just talk for five minutes?” if you had time you talk to me for five minutes. 

But find a person in your life that you can have that conversation with, like, let’s start I want to give everyone like things to do. Find those three people in your life that you can say what you need to say to. That you know who’ll just be supportive. And if you open your mouth and ask for something, they’re going to help you brainstorm to figure it out. Because I think everybody needs that. If it’s one person, it was two people, it’s three people, I like three, because it’s like to consult on strategy. This is the way my crazy brain works. If you have three people, you’re not going to usually have one idea. You might agree on one of them or disagree, so at least you have both sides of it. That makes sense to you. That’s not my crazy brain works. But having those people support you in that way. And that can be online too. That doesn’t mean you need to know them. They can be, I have people that I’ve never met in person that I speak to. I’m sure you do too, very girly. And know more about me than people I’ve known for 20 years. It works.

Jaclyn Mellone 

It does. And if you don’t have that right now, know that setting the intention for that makes it possible. I have done that just this year with filling a void with certain types of friendships, and I’ve just been blown away at how quickly they’ve surfaced into my life. And yes. It’s crazy how that happens. If you don’t have that, don’t be like “Oh, I don’t have that. It’s nice to be able to do.” But it is possible for you set that intention and just like you would in another relationship. If you’re looking for a partner or a mentor and things like that, where you would set that type of intention, you can absolutely set that same intention for friendships.

And then you’ll start to see people that maybe you wouldn’t have thought of or just get that little nudge to maybe reach out to someone and share something that can open up a whole new friendship that you wouldn’t have thought of before. I love how you set that down.

Beth Nydick  

I always say this. If there’s not somebody you have right now like this, please right now pick up your phone. And I mean, I do something like “Pick up your freaking phone and DM somebody. DM somebody you’ve liked .DM somebody that you’ve admired online. DM your best friend from high school that you haven’t spoken to in 20 years. I’m challenging this audience right now. Pick up the phone, DM them and then post about it and tag Jaclyn and I. I want to see them.

Jaclyn Mellone  

Love it. Love it. Yes, let’s get into action. Okay, but how can we stay in touch with you?

Beth Nydick  

You can touch with me, please visit me at bethnydick.com and I’m Beth Nydick on every social media platform including Clubhouse.

Jaclyn Mellone  

Amazing. All right. Thank you so much. This has been such a fun conversation but really inspiring. I think just talking to you about this also just lights the fire under me to do these things more intentionally and more frequently. And to lean into that embarrassment awkwardness that can really I think we could probably channel that energy as a as a superpower. Thank you for the inspiration. And yes, we’ll definitely I don’t know. Now I lost my train of thought. Thank you so much. This has been amazing.

Beth Nydick  

Thank you so much. I love being with you.

Jaclyn Mellone  

Can I just say thank you so much for listening? I don’t think I say it enough. But I love that you are here. If you enjoyed today’s episode or if you’ve been getting value from this podcast. Do me a quick favor. Head on over to iTunes and leave a rating and review. When you leave a rating and review, It basically tells iTunes that they need to spread the word and tell more people about this podcast and I am on a mission to get the word out. I’m so grateful for your support. We want to make sure to shout you out too. If you do leave a rating review, keep your eyes and ears open. We will be either shouting out in the podcast or an Instagram stories.