How to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone (Replay)

Jaclyn Mellone

Welcome to Go-To Gal episode number 40. Today’s episode has been something kind of brewing on my mind, but I cannot wait to share with you because this is something that’s just a recent aha for me, sometimes there’s a language that we use in our lives, and our businesses. Maybe it’s marketing speak. Maybe it’s just part of our everyday language that we don’t really give thought to. Right? It’s just, that’s what someone told us the word for something was. So, that’s what we go with. If we questioned everything, we would basically be like my six-year-old, but we’re not, right? Or my three, my three-year-old Marshall turns three today. The day this is running live.

So happy birthday to Marsh, man. And it’s so funny. Just a couple of weeks ago, he’s been talking up a storm for a while, but I feel it was just a couple of weeks ago that it made a shift to him constantly asking questions. And the funniest bit of irony is Eleanor who’s six. I catch them in an argument of sorts.

Where she’s, mom, will you explain to Marshall what ‘because’ means, because he keeps asking me these questions and I just tell him because and he keeps asking why and what does because mean, oh, the irony is kind of amazing. Okay. So I don’t even know how I ended up on that topic. Things that we question or don’t question.

Right? So if we were to constantly be questioning everything around us, we would be like crazy kindergarteners, right? So that’s just not how we operate. But sometimes things happen that make us have a perspective shift. And that recently happened to me. And I cannot wait to share this with you because this is something that, this is a new discovery is a vast over-exaggeration, but it’s a new perspective shift that I had. And I think this is going to rock your world too, not to talk it up, but I’m pretty excited about this. And this is something I’ve been feeling for a long time, but I haven’t had the words for it and they just came and wouldn’t, that’s why I have podcasts, so I can share those words with you.

What I want to talk about today is your comfort zone. And there are quotes around this, your “comfort zone.” Now, before I get into comfort zone, I want to go into words that have meaning, right? If you call your bedroom, your sanctuary, right? Or if you call it the overwhelmed city, you’re going to have a very different type of experience in that room.

If I was to refer to you, my office is my happy place versus calling it a hot mess. I’m going to have a different kind of experience. And these nicknames are different things. I want you to start thinking about, what do you call certain things, places, events, right? What types of words have you assigned to things?

And a lot of times you’ll say, well, I call my office a hot mess because it was a hot mess. Right? But there’s an “evidence” there that, well, it is that, or maybe it doesn’t feel like you’re happy, but I want to question you on, what is driving, what,? And what if you reassigned a feeling to that space?

So we’re not talking about physical spaces in today’s episode, but I want you to start thinking about, oh yeah. If I like the words that I say. And the feelings that I attached to certain things that are going to affect them. And what I want to challenge today is not so much physical space, but a zone, your comfort zone.

I don’t know who named it, the comfort zone, but today, I want to challenge you on your comfort zone because I have a hunch. I have more than a hunch that your comfort zone is not really all that comfortable. And you’re calling it your comfort zone as everyone does because that’s the word that we’ve been told to call it.

Right? So in case you’re the one person who doesn’t know what I’m talking about, or maybe there are many people that don’t know talking about, but in case you’re, well, what’s a comfort zone, Jaclyn? We’ve kind of evolved to a place now where, I guess it’s more talking about things, oh, well, hi, I can’t, I’m stuck in my comfort zone or I need to get out of my comfort zone.

And our comfort zone is basically assigned to everyday life to things that are our norm to the way that we’re operating on a daily basis to things that we are “comfortable with.” Right? And everything that is not in the comfort zone is stopped. That maybe there’s some fear, excuses, or sounds overwhelming, or there’s just a lot of emotion, resistance, procrastination, and all of those things.

Now I’m sure all of you have seen the meme. And if you haven’t, go Google comfort zone and click on images and you are for sure going to see the meme or the graphic or whatever you want to call it. Where there’s a circle and it says, and it’s labeled comfort zone, and then there’s another circle outside of it. And a big wide world, essentially a big open space.

And it’s everything you want in life or where all the great things happen or something really encouraging. And the message is that you need to get out of your comfort zone in order to get what you really want. Right? And I’m not debating that that is absolutely the case. What I am debating here today and what I’m going to challenge you to reframe and take a second and look at is, is your comfort zone really all that comfortable?

Have we named this comfort zone correctly? Now, I did actually look up the definition just for fun, of the comfort zone. There is, it’s an actual thing. You can actually look up the definition. I did not make this up. And it is a place or a situation where one feels safe and at ease and without stress. So, if your life right now feels safe and at ease and without any stress, then by all means don’t let me rain on your comfort zone parade.

Call your comfort zone, your comfort zone permission granted. But if it’s not, I want us to stop pretending that this place, that we’re stuck in, that this place we’re defaulting to is comfortable. Okay. So I’m going to throw out some ideas here that I have, but I want you to think about your own meaning for this, right?

Because when I think about the comfort zone when I think about my own comfort zone now, or comfort zones of the past, and I think about my clients’ “comfort zone.” I don’t look at this as, and especially that language. Okay. So the language of, I’m stuck in my comfort zone, or I need to get out of my comfort zone.

That language in of itself makes, I’m going to come back to that, but it’s not a good language to use. We’re going to come back to them because I kind of feel something coming. Okay. When I think about my comfort zones, my past comfort zones, my clients’ comfort zones. And I’m using all of the quotes here because I don’t think these comfort zones are labeled correctly.

I think that this is your fear zone. You’re not, I’m not good enough zone. Maybe it’s your unconscious zone where you’re operating from a place of just your unconscious is driving things and you’re not really doing things with intention and be at some mediocre zone or you’re playing small zone, you’re operating on autopilot zone.

We’ve all been there. You’re giving up on your dreams zone, dealing with shitty clients zone, overworked, and underpaid zone, drowning in debt zone. I can just go on and on all day, but I want you to think about, what is your reality zone here, right? Is it comfortable? Is where you are right now comfortable?

And I’m speaking to you. If you are not starting a business yet, you’re stuck in your comfort zone, and you haven’t started a business yet. If you’re listening to this podcast, you probably have a business already, but wherever you are in business, maybe your early stages of business, or you’ve had a business for a few years, and you’re kind of at that same place, right?

I’m talking to you about this. And even if you’re making six figures, multiple six figures, we have some seven bigger business owners that are listeners. I don’t care how much money your business is making. If you are stuck in that “comfort zone”. If you’re not stretching yourself,

If you’re just doing what you’ve always done, then it’s something and it’s likely not comfort.

I want you to really take out the, maybe it’s super obvious. Maybe you got to take the magnifying glass inside, threw some things in there. Sometimes things get going well, and we just turn on autopilot and that’s not growing. At the risk of having too many definitions in one episode, I did look up another definition.

So this past weekend, I actually came up in conversation, talking about our local real estate market and how the same people over and over again, fight development. And I off the cuff said, if you’re not growing, you’re dying, referring to our local economy and new business growth and things like that.

If we’re not welcoming new businesses and, we’re not growing and expanding. Then, what are we doing? We’re dying. We’re on the way to a dead economy. I was curious, and of course, it popped into my head as I sat down to record today. So, I was all over dictionary.com today, if you will. And, what is the definition?

What is the opposite of growing? And, funny as you have it, dictionary.com is not quite as dramatic as I am, but nonetheless, the opposite of growing, and I bring this up because a lot of times we tend to think that we either stay stuck or we grow. It’s either we’re standing still, we’re stuck where we are or we’re growing.

That it’s one or the other, but the opposite of growing is not staying still, staying stuck, keeping everything the same, the opposite of growing, according to dictionary.com or whatever I Googled, is shrinking. I love this word even more than dying because it’s a little bit dramatic. But the visual that is right of we want to grow as humans.

We want our businesses to grow and thrive. And if we’re not growing, we’re not stuck in our comfort zones or shrinking. Think about that. I don’t want you to shrink. I want you to grow. So, I have a little bit of a challenge for you today because we are going to throw this whole comfort zone thing out the window.

And I want you to draw your own new meme. I want you to redefine this for yourself because if you feel you have been stuck in your comfort zone if you are ready to get out of your comfort zone, or these are things that you’ve been thinking or feeling, and here’s the thing at all stages of business, we have to do this because we have to keep growing.

If we’re not growing, we’re shrinking. So here is your reframe. I want you to one, first and foremost, I want you to name your shrinking zone. It is no longer a comfort zone. It is a shrinking zone, and I want you to name it. I mean, you can take shrinking zone if that, if you have an emotional response to that, but maybe go back and re-listen to earlier where I was listing off a bunch of ideas, and see if one of those resonates with you or if it sparks another word into your head.

What is that? Are you on autopilot? Are you playing small? Are you giving up on your dreams? What does it feel when you are in that shrinking zone? And I want you to give a name that resonates with you. That is likely not going to be your comfort zone. Now that we’re really taking a hard look at this.

This is no longer your comfort zone. This is your shrinking zone. Let’s give it an appropriate name. I also want you to define it. You don’t have to go crazy here, but I want you to just think about what are some of the, what are some of the obvious things or the triggers or the alerts or indicators, what are the key performance indicators that say that you are stuck in your shrinking zone?

But what are those indicators of, what are the things that you’re going to look for? What are the signs that you are operating from a place of being in the shrinking zone? Pick a couple of things. Those are going to be specific to you. So think of a couple of things, okay, I know when I’m doing this or when I’m not doing this, that I’m hanging out here that I’m hanging out in the shrinking zone.

Two, I want you to journal or make a list, whatever you like to do of what is the cost, what is the consequence of you staying in that shrinking zone? Because right now with calling it a comfort zone, it feels, oh, well I’m just warming cozy every year in my comfort zone. And I have to get uncomfortable and do all these hard things to get out of it.

No! Where are you are is not comfortable. I don’t care how much money you’re making. There are things going on, and you want to be growing and not shrinking. Let’s call it as it is. And then what are the consequences of staying in that shrinking zone? What is that? That negative ripple effect? If you will, if you were to stay there and not get outside of that zone, that’s just a good reality check for you to do a little exercise and then, last but not least.

I want you to draw. So, if you’re drawing a cert for you’re doing the meme yourself or drawing a circle, giving your shrinking zone a name, I want you to draw a circle just around it. That’s not too far. It’s not too much bigger, but just a little bit. And that’s your growth zone. As long as you are getting outside of that, that shrinking zone, you don’t have to go miles outside of it.

You don’t have to go across the paper with it just a little bit outside of that zone. That’s your growth zone. And that’s where I want you to stay. Everyday, I want you to do something that just pulls you outside of that autopilot. Outside of that, just hopper eating is business as usual. Outside of that shrinking zone, that’s going to take you into that growth zone and keep you in the growth zone.

Give yourself that visual. You can draw this on a post to know and put it on your monitor. So you’re looking at it every day. Take a picture of it and make it your screensaver on your phone, whatever you have to do. But, rename your shrinking zone to whatever it is for you or take the shrinking zone you’re happy to have that.

And then your growth zone, and then, make a list of what are some things, what are some indicators or some signs that you’re getting into your growth zone? Give yourself some ideas, but really the growth zone is limitless. Possibilities there for you. It doesn’t have to be big things.

It’s really just taking imperfect leaps and, and slowly but surely keeping yourself. Put that momentum building and building and building and staying in that momentum of growth because we want to be growing, not shrinking. All right. I think, go, go, get to work. Go get down to business. Oh, I did have one more story I wanted to share with you.

I’ll do it another time. You’ll have to, we’ll work it into another episode. My daughters get off the best soon. I’m going to keep this one short and sweet because I want you to take action on this. I want you to take a screenshot of your post-it note and send it to me on Instagram stories. I want to see this.

I want to see how you’re taking this and applying it to your life in your business. And I want you to take an action and getting in the growth zone. And that must be Eleanor getting off the bus. Have a great day. Can I just say, thank you so much for listening? I don’t think I say it enough, but I love that you are here.

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