This Belief Held Me Back… Can You Relate?

Jaclyn Mellone  

Welcome to Go to Gal, Episode Number 161. As always, I’m your host, Jaclyn Mellone. And today, it’s just us. And today, this is actually something I recorded a couple years ago that I recently came across. And I just knew I had to share it with you. So that’s it. That’s all I’m gonna say. We’re just gonna let it roll. But this is something that was a big breakthrough for me a couple years ago of something that I realized that had been holding me back and that I was starting to see around me that it was holding back a lot of other people too. It’s really important that you listen all the way through because there’s layers to this breakthrough of both the, oh, this is holding me back. And then oh, this next step is what I really need to change. So definitely, it’s not long, but definitely listen all the way through, and I can’t wait to see what this does for you. I wonder if you’re having the same thing, the same belief that I had, that was holding me back. Alright, I’m just gonna let it roll. Here goes. 

Today, it’s just as I am super excited for this episode. As always, I mean, seriously, if I wasn’t excited to talk about something I don’t think that would make for a very good podcast episode. But I still feel the need to share my excitement. I hope you’re sharing in my excitement here. Okay. So for this episode, I want to start off by going back in time a little bit to when I was starting my business. And this is something that was big for me in 2015, 2016, probably even 2017. Offhand, I can’t think of the turning point. I am sure that there was a day and a time and an event that changed this belief pattern for me. But I don’t know that right now, maybe when I’m telling you the story, it’ll come clear to me. But that’s not important. 

Let’s go back. Let’s go back in time, to baby business owner, Jacqueline. I was starting out and as you may know, part of my story, I was starting a business back then called Chasing Dreams and Littles, which no longer exists today. But that’s what it was in the beginning and I had built a personal brand by accident. So while I was trying to like get this branded company off the brand, off the ground, I had gotten known behind the scenes. I was using Instagram to grow this brand and turn it into a business and I had grown a personal brand by accident just by being me. Funny how that happens, right? But sharing what I was doing, and what was working, what wasn’t working. And just like literally being a human and interacting with other people and sharing value and asking for advice and taking advice and sharing the journey. All the things that we now know are great elements to having a strong personal brand, right? So I was doing this, but rather unintentionally. Because publicly, I was still a bit afraid to be out there as a brand. In fact, somebody back then actually recommended that if I  buy my domain name that I like, I directed traffic to jaclymellone.com and that would simplify like having a podcast and this other brand and all of that. And I was like what, like I don’t want my name to be the website. Like I was still totally in a witness protection program. I say that jokingly but I did not want people to know that I was starting a business like in my life yet. I was not out of that closet yet. So here I was, though in private communities sharing and getting known for Instagram. 

There was a long period of time where I kind of leaned into this but this was like the beginning of it. So people were just starting to like ask me questions about Instagram and tag me for things and it especially with my mentors at the time where Jill and Josh Stan screws, the nine to five. And I had gone to mastermind of theirs and had joined their membership and they were just so impactful in my in my journey. And they had been like tagging me in the Facebook group every time someone had an Instagram question. And they were actually on an Amy Porterfield podcast, online marketing made easy and they were talking about people in their community. They shouted me out like, “Go to Jacqueline for Instagram” on Amy’s podcast. And then they eventually asked me to speak at their conference in San Diego on Instagram. Okay, so this was huge for me then. And I was like, okay, that was one like a big aha of something with this personal brand thing. I’m gonna lean into this. But it also well, I’m not gonna see this happening. So this was happening and this was good. And I was looking around me and I was looking at what was happening in this online space. And I was looking at the success that Josh was having at the time from being on Amy’s podcast and all this stuff that happened. And I was seeing a lot of people that were promoting other people. I mean, gosh, I could probably name names here, but I’m not really thinking of anyone off the top of him. I like thinking of everyone and no one at the same time. You know how that is. And I probably shouldn’t call people out for this, but you know who they are. So we’re just gonna keep it at that right? I could probably list dozens of people to right now, you could probably list dozens of people who you know about because of a popular podcast, or who you know about because someone who you follow is an affiliate for them and promoted them or if someone’s coach or if someone star student or if someone’s that, you get the point, right? 

So there’s all these people who are the big influencers in our space and they’re promoting people. And it seems like these people are coming out of nowhere and having like, amazing overnight success, right? So here, I was getting traction back then for Instagram, and a lot of that coming from people, my peers, and people I was connecting with sharing me, but also mentors sharing me and all of this, right. The opportunities that were coming from that and somewhere through all of that I created this belief. And you might too, which is I am sharing it with you somewhere along the line. This belief happened. I felt like I needed someone bigger than me to endorse me, or I needed someone bigger than me to metaphorically speak, like, come and crown me an expert. That like, oh, if only this person or that person knew who I was, and they could share me, then and only then would I make it and things would be easier. And all of these, all of these lies that come with that short, that happens, it could be really awesome. And it could be really great. 

But the reason why I say those are lies, the reason why I say this is a belief is because this is something that, listen, if I was harboring this belief, and I know friends of mine and clients of mine have harbored disbelief. I think that you have some form of this belief in and out in that head, whether it’s conscious or not. So it is my job to talk about these things, right? 

When we think that someone is going to come down and crown us, an expert or crown has some authority. When we think that we have to be given that title by someone of importance, or some guru or some influence, or whatever it is, when we are waiting for someone else to tell us that we’re in authority or tell us that we’re an expert, or tell us that we’re whatever. One back to what I said in the beginning, right? We’re taking the power away from ourselves, and to like, you are holding yourself freaking back. I was holding myself freaking back, right? I am talking to myself right now. Oh, but we’re probably very similar. And I’m guessing that you may have thought this or thinking this too. 

It’s really easy to think this, especially when we see what seems like so many people experiencing success this way. But the reality is they likely had success far before these,”magical events”. And those people are few and far between it when you look at the numbers at home. And listen, I also want to tell you if that is something that would be a goal of yours or like, “Well, that would sound kind of awesome, Jacqueline. Like, I don’t want to take that off. I was fine.” “Great. You don’t have to. But I can tell you right now if you stop waiting for someone to crown you that expert for someone, to even crown you that authority and you step into that now, the chances of that happening are like a million x.” I don’t have stats to back that up. But seriously, if you were sitting there in this comfy, best kept secret not putting yourself out there filled developers’ self doubt and afraid to really claim that you know your stuff. And that like you are that go to authority. If you’re hiding behind the scenes, the likelihood of someone randomly discovering you and catapulting you to the forefront of the world. And all the fame and glory that goes but like that is not very likely. But if you decide that you’re ready for that, if you decide that you’re the expert, if you decide that you’re the authority, it’s so hot. More likely that those situations could even happen, right? 

So the reason why I’m sharing this with you today is because this belief hung me up good. I mean, I remember having maybe this discovery came from conversations with my coach because as I’m talking about this, like I remember a specific conversation with her. I was like, “Oh, if I could just do this or this or get like in with this person.” This is like 2016, maybe early 2017. I don’t know. It’s a blur. I don’t remember. But I do remember this conversation and I remember her reflecting back to me and being like, “What if you didn’t need that, to hit that goal or what are other ways that you see people having that level of success?” But really, she was like, trying to get me to think outside of that box. And that was so like, I was resisting it at the time. I don’t think I was ready to receive that message. If you’re listening to this, and you’re like, “Okay, Jacqueline. Whatever, that’s gonna happen for me”. You may not be ready to receive that message. And a lot of times, if you’re listening just to an episode or something, sometimes people will say, “God, I’ve heard that so many times before, but I needed to hear it today or I needed to hear it like that story.” Like, now it clicks. That’s how things happen, right? So if you’re getting a little resistance around this, or if you’re tempted to, give me eye roll emojis. If there’s something there, if I’m poking a button, maybe you’re not ready to hear this, or maybe you need to challenge yourself a little bit. 

But back then I wasn’t. I was like, what are you talking about? Like, no, I’m not disempowering myself. Like, this is just, I just think that would be greater. I see people having success this way. And that’s just one of the things. But I do think that I was making it like, okay, no, once someone does that, then all these other dominoes are going to fall. And that is not like, like a dream, a wish is not the way we’re gonna grow business here. 

So what I want to talk to you about is like how this works with authority, because I think a lot of times people see maybe their friends or competitors or leaders in their industry, charging high ticket rates, or being out there on podcasts or speaking at conferences, hitting these like really amazing income goals or being featured on different media sites or on TV or whatever it is, right? You see these people. And if that’s something that you aspire to, if you want to be a go to guy, a lot of times that is right. You’re like, I want to be out there like that. And you might get that comparison if you might be though, that might trigger that in you a little bit. But you have this thought and this belief of like, well, that’s not going to happen for me until I’m an authority, until maybe this other person comes out from the interwebs and crowns me and authority. 

Whatever that scenario is, we think that those things can’t happen until we have checked this like authority, checkmark and someone else has approved or crowned as deemed as worthy of being an authority. And what I hope to shake, rattle and roll into you today is that does not need to be the case. And that is not the case at all. That formula is backwards. You become the authority, you step into owning that you are an authority. It starts in your head, and then you start taking action under that precedence. And that is what leads to everything else. You stop waiting for these opportunities to happen to you. And you start making things happen for you. You just flip this whole thing on its head. This is where I think people get this whole authority building thing wrong. 

You have the power exactly where you are today to step into being an authority. Wherever you are, you have that power, there is something that you are an authority on. And you can step into that and nobody else has to approve it, stamp it check. Nope, this all uses their full power here. And in fact, as soon as you realize that and acknowledge that and stop waiting for that outside approval, that’s actually the energy that’s needed for you to be an authority, for you to feel like you’re an authority. Like this all supports each other. 

And on the opposite end, there’s no end date, there’s no end milestone here, the result of what I do. So I help experts become that authority in their space from the inside out. But that’s not the end result of what I do. That’s the methodology of how to get people the result that they really want, which is to make exponentially more money, right? And there’s an important distinction here. Because there is no end like, oh, now you’re in authority, you can just stop doing things or whatever, right? Like this is being an authority is something that starts in some place, and you just kind of build this authority momentum. It’s like a snowball that grows over time. And maybe you can continue building your authority, but there’s never like, you’re done. Like you can stop now and there’s never a “Nope, you’re not an authority at all. Like we can’t do anything with you.” 

It’s this way of doing business. It’s not a destination. It’s the way of doing business. So with me and the work I do like I am helping experts like you exponentially grow their business by becoming the authority. That’s the vehicle that’s the way that we do it. Other people have other ways to do it, right? Like some people will say, I’ll help you do this by having an evergreen webinar funnel. Like there’s so many different ways you can do that. My methodology is the way that I help people build authority, right? But there’s an important distinction here. And that’s why I’m like, this is something I’m passionate about. We got to do a little pep rally chat about this today. Because stop freakin waiting, now is your time. You’re the one that decides that energy is going to come from that decision. Because energy comes from all decisions. And wherever you are on your journey, you can always be growing in the center, and that’s gonna help you just keep as you scale your authority, as you build your authority. You can scale your business more and more to so the two really do support each other.

I think you’re just gonna leave this be like a pep talk chat today, because this is like got me all riled up. And I just hope that this is like, okay, yes, I’m ready. And, and I have like, if you’re like, okay, let’s do this Jack. I’m like, I’m ready. What do I need to do? Like being an authority? Building authority? Sounds good. But like, that’s kind of vague, like, what exactly does that mean? What does one do to build authority? Like, I kinda get the concept, but what exactly do I need to do? Well, you are in luck, I created something free for you. That is super unlike I don’t think I’ve ever been we’re excited about giving away a free gift before. So we created a 30 days of authority building action plan, that is literally something actionable to do. Every single day for 30 days, that hits on all the five different parts of my authority armor framework. So there’s five different components that go into building authority. And we’ve taken a little bit from everything and turned it into 30 days of action for you to start or continue building your authority. It is amazing. I am not ashamed to say like this, I’ve been sharing it with friends and they’re like, holy crap, you’re giving all this away for free. Like yes, ma’am. I am. So I cannot wait for you to get your hands on this. And it’s so actionable. And that’s what that’s what you need right now. 

The idea of this is awesome. Now let’s go take some action, right. So go on over to jaclynmellone.com/forward/plan and grab your free guide. It is amazing. I cannot wait to see what momentum you build in 30 days. So freaking excited. And please, please, please DM me on Instagram. I want to hear all about what you’re doing with your action plan. Alright, so one last time to get your 30 days of authority building an action plan that goes to jaclynmellone.com/forward/plan. And we’ll throw that in the show notes too. So you have an easy link to click. 

So alright, well stop listening and go click that link. Go get your plan and go start taking action. Can I just say thank you so much for listening. I don’t think I say it enough. But I love that you’re here. If you enjoyed today’s episode, or if you’ve been getting value from this podcast, do me a quick favor, head on over to iTunes and leave a rating and review. When you leave a rating and review, it basically tells iTunes that they need to spread the word and tell more people about this podcast and I am on a mission to get the word out. I’m so grateful for your support. We want to make sure to shout you out too. So if you do leave a rating review, keep your eyes and ears open. We will be either shouting out the podcast or Instagram stories.