Are You Empowered? Unlocking the *Real* Power of This Buzzword for Yourself and the Next Generation with Melody Pourmoradi

Jaclyn Mellone 

Welcome to Go-to Gal Episode 202. As always, I’m your host, Jaclyn Mellone. And today, we are talking about empowerment. Now, it’s interesting. I feel like the word empower or empowerment is very, over-hyped is definitely has been a buzzword. And I also feel like, maybe but maybe not, but I feel like there’s a large percentage of people that might also have a massive eye-roll moment. Because, I don’t know, they’re turned into this women’s empowerment movement, which is really freaking awesome. But at the same time, I know that that’s loaded with a lot of stuff that maybe wasn’t as awesome. And so there’s this, I don’t know. It is a little bit of a controversial word. Although, it shouldn’t be. And its essence is what empowerment means and how you are empowering yourself and the people around you at its core. I think it’s a really powerful thing. So cheesy. 

All right, so our guest today has an organization that empowers women, that teaches women how to be empowered and to definitely step into that, and also empower girls. Now, without just throwing a bunch of buzzwords around when we get to the core of what our guest today, Melody, does and her views on empowerment, it really resonated with me. And this is something that, in looking at myself and looking at our Go-To Gal community here and looking at my daughter and other children, other girls in my life, but also, we didn’t talk about sons but I feel like that might probably fit into this too. But what does that look like for them to step into that? And with my daughter who is a very strong natural leader, it’s like, where’s that line of, I want you to stay empowered, but also, you’re eight and you need to listen to me? Where is that line? I don’t know. This is why we have Melody as a guest today because I have all of the questions for her.

Also, thinking about my own daughter who was age eight. Melody had mentioned a statistic that really just made me sick to my stomach. And that is that statistically speaking, girls’ confidence peaks at nine years old. A girl’s confidence peaks. Their self-confidence peaks statistically at nine years old. That is just very unsettling and disturbing. And I know a lot of us on this entrepreneurial journey, our journey for building our business oftentimes parallels a personal development journey. And if it doesn’t, it probably should. I find them more, I work on myself and pour into myself and I’m on that journey of myself, the more I’m able to do for my business, for my team, for my clients, for my community, for you who are listening.

So I do find that the two go hand in hand. And starting to think of that statistic, I’m like, you know what, that gives me pause for sure. And I know that if I hadn’t done all this work, I wouldn’t be able to say I’m more confident now than I was at eight or nine. And I certainly look at my daughter and I’m like, oh, okay, well, if I could have half of that confidence, that would be fantastic. But also, please don’t peak at nine, and please don’t let it go down. And so how are we both modeling what it looks like to be empowered for ourselves, for our clients, for our communities? But also, how are we sharing that with girls around us, especially if you’re a mom or an aunt, or if you work with children in any way?

So I’m excited about this conversation. We spend most of our time talking about focusing on empowering ourselves, but we definitely get into some parenting children conversations as well. So a little bit of both in there. I don’t want to give too much away. It’s just a fascinating conversation and one that I know I got really inspired by. I have some actionable takeaways, and I’m definitely rethinking some things in a good way. So, all right. Let me formally introduce you to our guest today. I’m just rambling on about how great she is. Let’s actually, let me introduce you to her, and let’s get to it. So here we go. 

Melody Pourmoradi is on a mission to introduce women and girls alike to their many superpowers. She is an empowerment coach, author, and host of the Empowering Her Podcast. As founder of the GiRLiFE Certification Program, she trains women how to run impactful and profitable girls empowerment businesses. She is passionate about teaching women that their valuable work in the world deserves to be recognized and compensated. Her greatest goal is for every girl and woman to know that they are powerful beyond measure. And that they can create a life that lights them up from the inside out. Melody is married to the love of her life and together, they are the proud parents of twin girls. All right, let’s get to it. Here’s my conversation with Melody. 

Melody, I’m so excited to have you here today.

Melody Pourmoradi

It is my pleasure to be here. Thank you so much for having me, Jaclyn. 

Jaclyn Mellone

Yes. I do, like, cut ourselves off. I’m pressing the record. I have so much that I want to talk to you about and ask you. We are here to record a podcast, and I’m super excited that we can do this all and share it with others. But before we dive into all of that, take us back to when you were growing up. What were you the go-to gal for back then?

Melody Pourmoradi

I love this question so much. I was the go-to gal like, Melody was the girl who was going to listen. I was there for everyone. I would always lend my ear. And while I love doing it, I have to be honest, and I’m sure we’ll get into this, but I feel like there was a blessing and a curse at the same time. But for better or for worse, that’s who I was. 

Jaclyn Mellone

Oh, I totally get that. Okay, I’m excited to see where this comes back into play later. So fast forward to today, tell us what do you do and who do you help? 

Melody Pourmoradi

Absolutely. So, I run workshops for girls, but most importantly, the role that I am most passionate about is teaching other women how to run profitable girls’ empowerment businesses. And I think a lot of people are like, what is the girls empowerment business? Which I could tell that you’re one… 

Jaclyn Mellone

I’m like, that’s a good question. Well, okay, so tell us what is the girls empowerment business. And then I’m also curious to know what made you decide to make that a business and perhaps not a nonprofit. Because I’ve seen nothing like this, but it seems like it could have been a nonprofit, but I actually really love that you’re doing this in a way where women can be making money and helping others. They don’t need to be mutually exclusive. So, yes, what is this and where does that all fit in? 

Melody Pourmoradi

Absolutely. Well, a girls empowerment business, this all kicked off with me running girls empowerment workshops in my living room. I had this huge aha moment. One day, I was watching my girls at the time they’re twins. They were seven years old. They were skipping waves on the beach on a Caribbean vacation that we were taking with the family. And I was watching them, and they were so carefree, so present and so in the moment. Just soaking up life for everything that it was. And I was thinking about myself at the time and some of the challenges I was going through, I was thinking of some of my clients. I had them in my mind and in my heart. And I said to myself, what is it that happens from this age when they are so available to themselves and are so deeply ingrained in who they are?

And then into adolescents and being a teenager, and then as women where we’re not really always so present with ourselves. We’re thinking about what happened yesterday, and we’re future tripping about what’s going to happen next month, the next year. And all of this got me thinking like, we need to fill in this blank. And we need to bottle up the magic that is those seven-year-old girls right there because I wanted what they were having. So that’s really what happened. That aha moment led me to say, I love coaching women, but I really, really want to take these inner tools to young girls. Let’s teach girls from the tender age of five and six and seven and beyond how everything that they need already lives and exists inside of them, and all they need to know is how to have access to all of those inner tools. 

So I started running these girls empowerment workshops, and I was earning money for them. This was my work in the world. And the more I did, the more I had people in all different parts of the world who would see my posts, say, how do I do this? How can I do this? How can I bring girls into my world? How can I teach them the skills of empowerment? How can I teach them that they are literally powerful beyond measure? And so that’s when I was like, okay, we need to find a way to scream this off of the rooftops. And the only way to do that is to bring other women into this mission and link arms, and really bring that empowerment to every community in the world. So today, it’s a global endeavor. We have women all over the world, 175 women running workshops in their local communities. And so that is what the girls empowerment business really is, is that they get to do this work. They get to be abundant financially by doing this work, not to mention spiritually. Filling their own cups. Filling the cups of the girls. And of course, with running workshops, we teach them about all the other opportunities that come from being able to have this platform in the world.

So that is my definition of a girls empowerment business. And to answer your question about why I did not do a not-for-profit? The truth is I was ready out of the gate. I came home from that Caribbean vacation and in two weeks’ time, everything was happening on my watch. I got to create it the way that I wanted to see it. I visualized it. I imagined it for myself, and I made it happen. While non-for-profits are absolutely amazing and I support them all the time through my own business endeavors. I am a big proponent of female entrepreneurship. I love everything about it. I think female entrepreneurs will literally change the world, and we are. And so I wanted women to actually take this valuable work that they’re doing in the world and really earn unapologetically without saying, why should this work? A lot of people come and they’re like, but I can’t charge for this kind of work. And I’m like, we need to change the narrative and flip it around because actually, this is the work in the world that needs to be sustained. The more we can step into doing work that adds value to the planet, the better our world will be. And then we get to model that for the girls. 

Jaclyn Mellone

I love the meta-ness of it. Because it’s true, the women who are leading the workshops are able to really fully embody that spirit of what they’re encouraging and teaching these young girls to do and live. And so, I think that whenever you’re able to be the thing like walk the walk and model that, I do think it helps to anchor in that message so much more. And yes, there’s always a place for non-profit and whatnot, of course. But I do think as someone who’s had a lot of ideas over the years of ways to give back, or I don’t know, growing up, I was called a bleeding heart quite a bit. It always felt like these two things had to be separate. I love this message from the get-go of it doesn’t. We can give and also receive. And it doesn’t have to be, I’m over here making money doing this thing so then I can give back in this other way that we can really marry the two. And I feel that quite a bit in the work that I do, but this feels like, just taking that and running with it even more. So inspiring to hear about. Oh, okay, I have a million questions to ask you. I think the first place we should start off with, which is the most basic, is how do you define empower?

It’s become a little bit of a buzzword, and I’m sure people have feelings about the word in all different ways. But I’ve always been drawn to the word. I feel like it has been overused quite a bit, or maybe it’s lost some of that initial meeting. But it’s a word that I always gravitated to. And I’m curious to know how you define empowered? What does it mean for these women to be empowered, for the girls to be empowered? What does it mean to be empowered? 

Melody Pourmoradi

Absolutely. I think it’s a great question. I think there’s an individual answer for all of us. My definition of empowerment is really operating as the highest version of yourself and being in possession of yourself, being willing to get introspective and truly know yourself. So to be an empowered woman is operating in your highest truth. Again, being the highest expression of yourself and not questioning that, not judging that. And while we always talk about empowering girls, the truth of the matter is that we can’t actually empower anyone else. I don’t believe we can actually empower anyone else. Empowerment can only be accessed within us. So we can share knowledge, we can share insights that will help people reveal the empowerment that lives within themselves. And that’s what we do. So whether it’s we’re trying to bring that empowerment to girls or bringing it to the woman who we serve, we are like portals to help them get there. 

Jaclyn Mellone

Oh, I love that definition. Okay, so what are some ways when we’re thinking about, okay, am I empowered? Am I in possession of myself? Which just feels like a very captivating expression there. Oh, I’m like, am I? I don’t know. I want to be. Sometimes it’s easier to define things by the opposite like what are some signs, if we’re not empowering ourselves if we’re not feeling empowered, what are some of those may be warning signs that we should be looking out for in ourselves or maybe even in for others?

Melody Pourmoradi

I think that when we’re walking through life based on someone else’s agenda and what someone else wants for us, and we’re constantly second-guessing ourselves and saying, should I do this? How will this be received? What will people think? I think that that is only human, and we all have thoughts like that, for sure. But we’re so speaking of being in possession of ourselves and being self-aware, it’s important to notice when that’s happening, and to make a different choice. And to notice that it’s a thought, it’s a thought that we keep thinking about ourselves and how we want to operate in the world and allowing others to inform that, noticing it, forgiving ourselves for it, and then choosing a way that feels intuitively aligned. 

So I always say there’s this inner guidance system that lives within each of us. It’s like intuition really for, when we teach girls, we call it the voice of their heart or that inner voice of knowing because we really want them to get intimately acquainted with her, with that voice. And so often, we’re looking outside to inform the decisions that we should look within for. So that’s definitely one of those key pieces is like, what are other people going to think? When we’re doing that, we’re probably not operating in the most empowered space.

Jaclyn Mellone

Ooh. Okay. That’s a very good guidepost for us there. Now, I know you have a bunch of different components that make up, what does it look like to be empowered? What does it look like for us to be stepping into that highest and best version of ourselves? What is the breakdown of that? What goes into being empowered, and is that different for a woman versus a girl?

Melody Pourmoradi

Well, I think that empowerment is like I had said before, it’s the highest version of ourselves at the moment. So sometimes, the most empowered version of us is like, after we’ve gone for a three-mile walk and we’re feeling totally rooted in our foundation and we’re kicking butt and we’re feeling good. And sometimes we’re experiencing anxiety and experiencing some challenges and difficulties in our lives. And being the most empowered version of ourselves is just giving ourselves a moment to breathe. So I think it looks different in different ways. But it’s really having the willingness to, I keep going back to this, but our powerpoint is always within and really just accessing that point. 

Another piece of empowerment that I feel like, I feel like so many women, we are so eager to deliver empowerment to girls. And we forget that when we’re not living our own highest truth, that speaks volumes. So whether we are mothers, whether we are coaches or teachers in the classroom, these girls are watching us. So for a woman to truly be empowered, it’s actually walking her talk. We always say, be the change you wish to see in our girls. And that is the greatest gift that you will ever be able to deliver to them. So one of the ways that we can deliver empowerment to ourselves is by chasing our own dreams. 

There is a chapter in my book that says, stop ghosting your dreams. Because here we are, preaching to the girls. Go after your dreams. Do what your heart is calling you to do. Follow your passions. But if we were actually to take a mirror up to ourselves, chances are, there are so many dreams that sit on the back burner for fear of perfection paralysis, imposter syndrome, all the different blocks that we as human beings really do experience. But if we’re really trying to get our girls to bust through their own glass ceilings, we’ve got to bust through our own. So it’s really, really important to walk that talk and to do the work on ourselves. And I think that’s the highest form of empowerment. So I’ll say it till the cows come home. If we want empowerment for our girls, we must be willing to look in the mirror. 

Jaclyn Mellone

Oh, I am like, preach it all day long. I love this. There’s a large percentage of our Go-To Gal community who are moms. And those that don’t have nieces or friend’s kids or godchildren, children in their life. But I will say it’s for any of my clients or students over the years that have brought up that mom guild, I think that it’s something we come back to time and time again of exactly what you’re saying is, when we’re able to show up and build this business, it’s not just for ourselves and it’s not just for our family and our community and that ripple effect, but it’s also modeling exactly what we would want for our children. So yes, yes, yes. I love everything about that. Okay, back to the thinking of empowerment as women. I know you’ve mentioned spirituality, I think there was financial in there. What are some of the things that make up, if we were going to do that very corporate language here, which is hysterical because I’m the opposite of a corporate gal? But it’s like if we’re going to do that 360 reviews on ourselves of, am I empowered, in these different areas, what are the areas that we should be looking at? 

Melody Pourmoradi

Yes, we were talking about it before we hit live. And I think there are so many different components, but to feel empowered spiritually, the richness of feeling like, we’re having an impact in the world. We are in a really unique and comfortable relationship with ourselves. And of course, that is like the cornerstone of every possible relationship. If we want to create good relationships in our lives, we need to create self-love and find that within. And then, of course, showing people how it’s done. We show people how we love ourselves. And then we basically are giving them a manual on how to love us, and we won’t accept anything less than that. We talk about financial empowerment. The program that we offer to train women to run profitable girls empowerment workshops, there’s a financial piece there. So many people have often said to me, this is not work that I can charge for. This feels like work that I should be giving away for free. And I’ve really challenged that viewpoint because, why shouldn’t we change the narrative completely? Why shouldn’t we flip out? 

There are people out there doing work in the world that adds zero value to the planet, and in fact, potentially is harming our planet. So we should feel apologetic to earn for this work that is actually changing the world one girl at a time. So whatever the work is in the world like as coaches, as teachers, we feel comfortable earning for that. And so we’re trying to change, again, the way that we see the working world for women and to go out there and to make moves, and to not feel bad for it. Because at the end of the day, when we are financially empowered and when we are financially abundant, we are able to serve the world in a whole new way. I think it was Mother Teresa actually who said, we can change the world with our checkbooks. And so if we can change the world with our checkbooks, then we better get out there and do work, earn money, and why not make it be the work that women especially usually give away for free?

Jaclyn Mellone

Yes, a thousand percent. I feel like in recent years, this has been even more top of mind for me as, okay, whatever it is, if it’s giving back in our communities, if it’s even wanting to do something like this for free, doing it and getting paid for, it gives you the ability to then sponsor a group of girls maybe who couldn’t afford, or whatever that would look. If we’re only doing it for free, we’re going to have really limited resources and opportunities. And the more we’re making, the more we can give. And for better or worse, especially here in the US, I feel like the politics so much of that comes back to money even, an being able to use our checkbooks to make the impact we want to make and not just sit back and let other people maybe that are having that money have bigger influence because of it. Oh, there’s a lot of power in that. And that’s not the way most of us are raised to think about money, and that it can do good in that way.

Melody Pourmoradi

I don’t think we’re raised to think that way. And I also don’t think, like, there’s this message that I never heard growing up that I want to share with every girl, and I share with my own daughters, and it’s that you can make the difference doing something that you love and you can earn doing something that you love. When I was growing up, it was like, go where the money is. Go where the money is, which I so appreciate and I get that our parents wanted us to do things that would set us up for a safe and comfortable life. But of course, I’m living proof of this. When I was growing up, I knew from day one that I, as I had said, it was like, it was written on my forehead, come talk to me. I’m here to listen. 

So my dad had a family business. He brought us into this family business. I would say that was his first baby, and the rest of us were his subsequent babies. And that’s really where I got this fire for entrepreneurship that I love so much. We were selling home goods and teapots and things like that, which was fun, but it didn’t light me up the way I knew it needed to. And so I married my love for entrepreneurship with my love for making an impact and doing something different. So I was able to imagine this career for myself and created it out of nowhere. And so the message that I want to leave my own daughters with and all young girls is to follow your passions. Follow your passions, and yes, you don’t have to turn your hobby into something monetary. But if you want to, like, why shouldn’t we wake up every morning so jazzed about what we are going to do for the day? 

My girls right now are in a band, and they love it. They live for it. It’s the most exciting thing for them. It’s an entrepreneurial endeavor because, at the end of the day, they are running an Instagram page. They are figuring out how much money to allocate for all the different things that go into running and managing a band. And so, it’s like the messaging has to change. And again, we go back to empowerment and leading by example, it’s all possible if we want it to be. If we just are willing to think outside of the box, and if young girls were encouraged to do that. 

Jaclyn Mellone

Yes. I have such a similar story with my dad being an entrepreneur too. And I relate to that so much. My dad loves what he does, and he fully embodies that. Making money and giving back, he’s probably the most generous person I know in terms of giving to everyone and whether it’s family or causes he cares about and causes people he cares about, cares about the ripple effect there. But I worked for my dad and I had the same thing. It didn’t light me up, and he could call me first thing in the morning or late at night or on a weekend, and just wanted to talk about real estate. And I was like, oh dad, can we not talk? I don’t want to talk about buildings. And when I started my business, I remember my husband being like, I’ve never seen you work this hard. And for me, and I think other people maybe have better willpower than me or better at, I don’t know. 

I do notice that other people can maybe power through in something that they don’t have that passion for. But for me, personally, when I am passionate about it, it unlocks this next level of energy, of drive, of just that passion fuels the creation and the work. And that’s where creativity springs from, for me. That’s where it just being able to show up comes so much easier. Where when I don’t have that, it is so hard, so hard. And that friction there, and I remember being like, babe, I could never work this hard in real estate. I just don’t have enough of that interest to be able to show up in the same way because I had so much natural interest in what I was doing with the business, it wasn’t just doing the work. It was, oh, now I’m going to listen to books and podcasts, and all of those other things where you can fully immerse yourself in something and make that passion, that hobby, the business. Whereas if you’re just like, okay, but I know I can make money doing those other things. That just logic alone was not enough of a motivator for me.

Melody Pourmoradi

I’m so with you. I could never do those things. And as much as I showed up and went through the motions when I was younger, there was this deep knowing inside of me like, I need more. I want to do more. And now, I call it a workaholic, but not in a negative way. I can’t wait to get up every morning. And some of my friends laugh at me, they’re like, how are you getting up at 5:30? What is it? And I’m like, I’m literally so excited about what the day holds for me, and I love Mondays. Weekends are great, but I am so excited for Mondays because I love what I got to create in my business. And I feel like as entrepreneurs, there’s no limit to what we can do. You wake up in the morning and you have a fresh idea, and you implement it. You find a way, you get creative with it. And I think one of the greatest things as a female entrepreneur, someone once told me is to be unrealistic. And I feel like, with the whole business I’ve created, there were people who were so in my corner and they were like, Mel, you’ve got this. This is amazing. It’s totally going to work. Go for it. And I had an equal amount of people who were like, you’re not being realistic, Melody. This is not going to work. Who thought of making a business out of empowering girls?  

You get to choose which one of those voices you listen to. And that’s again, where that intuition comes in. What’s my heart saying? And I’m so glad that I didn’t listen to the voice of the naysayers. And I really put pen to paper and went after what I wanted to create. And I feel like that’s a message for every entrepreneur who’s been told, she’s unrealistic. You know what, use that as a guidepost that you’re actually on the right track because you’re doing something that hasn’t been done, and you’re just creating your own path. 

Jaclyn Mellone

Ooh so good. Okay, so you’ve mentioned this a couple of times in terms of listening to your intuition, and I love the voice of the heart language around that. Do you have any advice for, how do we know when we’re listening to the heart and not the head? And it’s probably a little bit different for everyone. This is something that I think I’m still learning about myself. I am very conscious of it. But there are still some times where I don’t know. And I’m still learning that about myself of, what’s the yes, what’s the no? How do I really tune more into that voice? And sometimes, it’s very loud and I think those are the moments where it’s really easy to tell. But other times, it’s not. And so that’s something that I’m still developing. I’m curious if you have any tips for someone who’s like, oh, I’ve never thought about doing that before, or for someone else who’s like me that’s like, I’m still navigating this. Any advice for them? 

Melody Pourmoradi

Yes. I feel like for me, personally, when something is coming from my intuition, it’s a non-negotiable. There are no two ways about it. This needs to come out. This needs to happen. We need to move forward on this. And how do we develop that muscle? How do we flex it and flex it some more until it becomes second nature? And it’s really like, what we do with the young girls, and of course, we could do this as big girls. We’re all big girls. Turning the volume down on the voice of everybody else. Not because it’s not important, but perhaps it doesn’t apply to you. Because nobody’s walking in your shoes, no one’s living your experience, no one’s lived your past life. And so really, really nurturing that alone time, first of all, like that time too, for some people, it’s meditation to really get into their own hearts and figure out what’s up for them. For me, it’s listening to a Soundgarden song and belting it out in the car, and allowing the feelings to be felt. 

So for everyone, it’s different. But having a practice like that, and for young girls, we tell them like, sometimes their intuition is very much blocked by all of the images they’re seeing on social media, by what everyone else is doing and they should like, I keep saying should. We often should be on ourselves. And young girls are always should-ing on themselves, especially in this age of technology where everything is at their fingertips. What everyone’s doing, what everyone’s wearing, how’s everyone’s speaking, how are they spending their free time? And we start to think that we ought to do the same thing, and we ought to think the same thing that everybody else is doing. 

So taking some breaks from all of that, taking some breaks from Facebook and Snapchat and Instagram, and as much as we all love it, especially as female entrepreneurs, there are beautiful tools. But to really step away, to make sure that you’re hearing your own inner voice, first and foremost, because sometimes all the stuff on the outside is just noise. And as female entrepreneurs, I’m sure so many of your listeners have heard, create before you consume. Not stepping into that consumption space where everyone else is informing you about what should be important and you’re thinking, but no, this is what I want to give my attention to. This is a project I want to do. And that’s where the innovative ideas come from. That’s where the excitement and joy come from when you’re actually doing something that not everyone else is doing. You’re getting to create ripples in a new way. That’s where thought leaders are created.

Jaclyn Mellone

Such great advice there. Okay, so starting to think about the girls in our lives and how this might look for them, what does it look like for a girl to be empowered, or to not be empowered? Because it’s a little bit different. They’re not in control of their own lives. They can’t be empowered to decide they’re not going to go to school anymore in third grade. There are limitations around empowerment. They can’t say this teacher is not aligned with me and leave their class. There are limitations there. So, gosh, there are so many questions about this, but let’s start with, what does that look like for a girl to be empowered? 

Melody Pourmoradi

I have so many stories. I have so many stories of girls who’ve come into my workshop or one of the workshops of our facilitators, and the form that empowerment takes for each of them. I’ll share some of the lessons that we teach, and then I’ll share how they play out for the young girls. We have 17 different workshops, so we’re teaching them everything from becoming my own BFF to discovering my unique superpowers. I am responsible for the world. I see my words create my world. I can heal myself. So we’re giving them all of this guidance and all of these tools on all of the things that, once again, live within them. All of these power tools live inside of them. And then they, of course, go out there in the world and they have experienced. And they get to call on each of these tools that they’ve been given to use in different scenarios. So we recently actually had one of our GiRLiFE girls from one of our workshops, her name’s Leah. And she actually asked to speak in our Facebook group. She’s like, this has changed my life so much that I need to talk about it. I was like, by all means, please share. And so she was talking about being involved with the group of friends, and she wasn’t more than nine years old when this was happening. 

But she was involved with the group of friends, and the more time she spent with them, the more she realized that these girls are not her people and they’re not treating her well. And they’re not respecting her. And they’re making her change her own opinion of who she is talking about that intuition and flexing that intuitive muscle. And because of the workshop, becoming my own BFF, she was like, you know what, this is not working for me anymore. I would actually rather be alone than be with people who don’t make me feel good about myself and don’t support me. So she was able to really nurture herself and nourish herself in the way that a best friend would step away from these girls, and then actually attract the right kind of girls because she was able to love, honor, and acknowledge herself, first and foremost, showing others how it’s done. So little things like that.

Another piece of empowerment, what does empowerment look like? I once had a mother call me and say that she woke up in the middle of the night because she heard something in her daughter’s room. She went into a peak on her daughter and her daughter was sitting there on her bed. It’s three in the morning, meditating. And so the mom waited for her to finish. And then she said, honey, what are you doing? And she said I had a really bad nightmare. And I was trying to calm myself down. So I decided to sit and we teach them peace begins with me. She accessed her own peace point and she was breathing and meditating. And she was able to self-soothe at that moment where usually you’re calling a parent or you’re screaming or calling someone, not that there’s anything wrong with those things. But again, empowerment is all about these girls accessing their inner tools, and knowing when to use them, and knowing how to deliver them to themselves in each different scenario.

Jaclyn Mellone

That resonates a lot because my daughter actually does something very similar. We started doing bedtime meditations. And then this year, which is a very big deal because we used to spend an hour doing her bedtime. It was a very big event, which is hard when there are two children, and especially when my husband travels. Okay, this bedtime is going to be a really big activity here. And we were able to get her to start doing her own bedtime where, you know, we’ll go in there. We’ll tuck her in, kiss her good night. But she started doing the meditations on her own and we have the setting on the iPad where after a certain time, basically, she can’t get into any of the apps except for insight timer, except for the one she uses for the meditations. And the same thing, in the middle of the night, sometimes if she wakes up, she’ll just put her meditation on. Now, she’s not doing it herself, but she’s able to press the button and listen to it and get into that state where she can put herself back to bed and self-soothe in that way.

Melody Pourmoradi

That is so important. We didn’t do those things when we were younger And we’re both two empowered women. Imagine if we had access to those tools when we were growing up. And so that’s how we’re changing the future for women. 

Jaclyn Mellone

So true. Now, what is that? And I think the more we talk about empowerment, the more I see it a little bit differently too. Because one of the things that I joke about, that I struggle with is my daughter is very naturally empowered. She is a natural-born leader. She has a very strong personality. And I’m like, oh, she’s the executive. My son’s probably more of a politician. If I had to stereotype them, he’s going around, hugging and kissing everyone, making friends with all the neighbors. She makes friends very easily too, but she’s much more the boss. She wants to be in charge of everyone and tell them what to do. And I struggle because I love this about her, that she has that. But also, there’s a lot of times where it is inappropriate and she’s, taking too much control over her brother or pushing back on me for something that really is not the way it should be. And so I try to set things up in a way where she can feel empowered as best I can. But I do notice, I don’t know, there’s some meme out there that’s like, do you know what I’m talking about? Where it’s like, we want them to be strong-minded women but not while we’re raising them.

We want this for her, but also like, maybe not at eight. This is a lot. And unfortunately, there is no third-grade debate club, I keep checking. Oh, she would rock it. So how do we draw that line? Or how do we frame it for them to understand that this is what means for you to be empowered, for you to be owning this power within yourself? But also, or maybe, and there’s also these times where that’s not what that looks like. What are your thoughts on that? 

Melody Pourmoradi

So absolutely 100% vibing with you on this. My girls, as I mentioned, they’re 15 and they’re powerhouses. And they actually taught me how to, this is all because of them. And so I’ve had moments like that where I’m like, oh, she said what? You want to nurture the leader within her. You want her to have the way that you’re describing your daughter. You don’t ever want her to not use her voice and speak her truth. And at the same time, you want her to do it with kindness, and you want her to have tact. But for me, the way that I’ve always handled it is in a situational way. And again, I will always balance everything with kindness. So if you, using your voice is in some way hurting another person with what you’re saying, now, there’s a fine line there as well. But we always have to remember that we’re coming from a place of kindness, a place of compassion, and a place of empathy.

So while we’re teaching our girls to be leaders, we are also, I think that at the cornerstone of it all is kindness. Truly, truly kind. So in the moments where we’re thinking, oh gosh, maybe she needs to pull back right now, we don’t want to stunt their growth and we don’t want to reprimand them. And we certainly don’t want to do it in front of other people. But really pulling them aside and saying like, how do you think that might have made her feel? Or how do you think that felt for everyone listening? Or how would it feel if that were happening to you? And so I think so often as parents, we want to cut in and be like, you shouldn’t be doing that or don’t do that. And I think that when we get to ask the empowering questions when we get to ask the questions that get them curious and are thought-provoking, they can actually come up with their own answers. And usually, hopefully, they’re understanding. And if not, we gently remind them. We gently nudge them. 

Jaclyn Mellone

That’s a word that we use a lot in our house. Don’t get mad, get curious. Sometimes we’re jumping to conclusions. Oh, and this can be for kids or adults, but anger is one of the emotions that baffles me a bit. I’m very intuitive with emotions. And that’s one where I just, in terms of channeling it myself, I actually don’t get angry very often, which is a whole nother conversation. My therapist is like, do you ever get angry? I’m like, sure. What about like this? And she’s just like, no, that doesn’t count. We’re exploring that. So I’m still working on connecting with that part of myself. And when I see it in other people, it’s one of those ones that I do struggle with empathizing with, or connecting with, were with other emotions, it can be much easier for me to understand. With anger, what does empowered anger look like? Or how does empowered angered, and I don’t even know this thing that you teach about, but it’s just something that’s on my mind as we’re talking. But because if you’re angry about something, you shouldn’t shove that down. But also, jumping to the conclusion of anger for things that are really maybe not, it doesn’t need to be, hence they get curious… 

We don’t always have to assume the worst. Oh, do you have any advice or tools for, and I see this with some of my clients and students too, that that’s their default emotion too? So yes, what’s a way to navigate that to stay empowered and true to ourselves? And in that power, but also not let the anger muddy that intuition either. 

Melody Pourmoradi

So I think that anger always needs to be expressed. Sometimes it’s our go-to, and it does need to be expressed and then perhaps channeled in a more positive way. But it’s definitely pointing to something like we’re feeling the feeling for a reason. And I think, so often as young people, as soon as we got angry or as soon as we had any bit of emotion, it was like, it’s okay. You’re okay. You’re okay. It’s okay. I actually think that we need to do a little bit less of that because the kid is feeling or we’re feeling as adults like, I’m not okay. And that’s why I’m feeling angry. So let me feel it, let me express it, and then let me feel a little bit better about it and be able to disseminate what that means and what that was pointing to. So I think that’s the first thing as parents or as elders, instead of saying it’s okay, you’re okay, offering a hug, holding them, being there for them, listening, and then perhaps providing another way to use it. And I think also when it’s being expressed like there are so many different ways to express that anger. Whether it’s going to the gym or for a child, it’s like a physical sport perhaps, soccer, going for a run, something it needs to be felt.

So I love what you said about empowering because I’ve never even heard that. But I’m going to use it. Empowered anger. Yes, we can channel it in an empowering way. But of course, step number one will always be to feel it. 

Jaclyn Mellone

To feel it, yes. And that goes for all of the emotions. It’s one of my big life lessons these past couple of years is like, yes, whatever they are, we got to feel them. That’s the only way through it, not around it. I was such an emotional shover for so long. And yes, it’s uncomfortable to feel the emotions, but I think acknowledging that they’re there and actually feeling them is one of the best tools we have. 

Melody Pourmoradi

Absolutely. I remember when I was a young girl, my, father, his definition of empowered, he’s like an amazing man, total feminist, incredible father in every way. But one thing I do remember is like the second the tears would come down and he’s like, she’s crying again. Oh my goodness. Because at the time it was seen as a sign of weakness. So just like you said, all the emotions do need to be expressed. It doesn’t mean we need to be walking targets and walking triggers, but perhaps if we can express them in the moments where we need to the most, then we’ll actually be our most empowered selves and be able to be strong and courageous, and confident afterward in the other times. 

Jaclyn Mellone

Yes. Okay, so I know we got to wrap up soon, but one more thing I wanted to ask you about because you brought up a couple of times, is the word abundant. And being abundant, I guess, what does that look like? And do you have any advice on how to stay abundant?

Melody Pourmoradi

Yes, I think abundance comes in many forms. And sometimes, it’s easy to explain something, as you had mentioned before by explaining what it’s not. And so there’s abundant thinking and then there’s lack of thinking. So society teaches us to feel lacking. From the words that we use, I don’t have enough money for that, or I can’t afford that. Perhaps, we feel like we can’t celebrate someone else’s success because we’re questioning our own. And the opposite of all of that is abundant thinking. Of course, I can earn abundantly and I can earn enough money to purchase that. Or just like an overall feeling of enoughness. Whereas lack is not enough, abundance is the feeling that there is always enough. There’s enough sun to shine on all of us. There’s enough water for all of us to drink. There’s enough of everything. And when we can dwell in that space of enoughness, So many invisible doors open. 

I know that you heard me talking about earning abundantly. Once again, as women, it’s so important that we feel like there is more than enough to go around. And so as a female entrepreneur, supporting one another, using our platforms to elevate one another like you are doing right now and you do every day with this incredible podcast. But really being in that energy of enoughness. 

Jaclyn Mellone

I love that. Okay, I have one more self-serving question for you. So since we’re earning up this year, for children, what are your thoughts on allowance or paying them to do certain things? This is one of the things that my husband and I disagree on. And I’ve read some conflicting parenting advice, and he’s just going after maybe how he was raised or what he would do with this. But especially my daughter, she wants to buy things. She wants money. But I also hear, well, if you’re paying them to do certain things, they’re not going to value or like doing that, or feel like they’re…

It can limit them just then you’re always paying them for this thing that maybe you would just normally expect them to clean their room or help out around the house. And so it’s finding that balance of, I know she wants to earn money, but yes, I don’t know what. So any advice on the whole allowance and where that comes into? Raising that abundant thinking that she can make an earn, but also, I don’t know, not like squandering her ability to just contribute without being paid to do it in the house. 

Melody Pourmoradi 

Yes, all really, really good questions. Something that we thought about a lot as our girls were getting older, I think allowance is a beautiful thing. I think allowance allows them to feel like they are in control of how they spend their money, what they assign value to, and that’s what they will pay for. What we do in our home is we notice that they were always coming at us like before they went to school, they were like, can I get $5 for this? Can I get $10 for that? I want to go out for lunch with my friends, I’m going to the movie.S and I didn’t like the way that it might’ve felt for them to constantly be asking us for money. I felt like that might feel the opposite of abundant for them. So we put together a number that we felt was reasonable at each age, of course. And we said, this is your allowance. We set up accounts for them. We automatically put the money in the accounts for them every week, and we told them what it was used for. And we said, if there’s something you really want to buy that you really like, save up your allowance. You get to choose how you pay for the different things for the different parts of your life.

But along with that allowance, we expect you to contribute to the house. So each night one of you is doing the dishes and we’re all cleaning up together and you keep your rooms clean, and things like that. So I guess we never phrased it as we’re paying you to do certain things. It was like, this is your allowance, but what we want you to know is that, with this allowance also, there’s an expectation that you’re going to contribute to the household and help out. And that’s how we phrase it. And it’s worked really, really well, and they’re not always coming and asking us for money. And it’s just so, like I mentioned, they’re twins and it’s so interesting to see how each of them use their money and the relationship that they have with money. And it changes, it’s ever-changing. But I like that they get to make these decisions at this young age and on a larger scale, as they get older. 

Jaclyn Mellone

Oh, that’s fascinating and such great advice. Okay, thank you for going there with me. Oh, all right. Before we wrap up, is there anything else you want to add? Well, we’ll get to how we can stay in touch with you and all that, but anything else on empowerment, any final thoughts?

Melody Pourmoradi

I would just say the greatest gifts. And this is about, my book is coming out in a few weeks and it’s called Empowered Women, Empower Girls,  and how modeling courage, self-love abundance, all of that. That is the gift that we give to our next generation. And so I will always say, when people ask me like, how do we empower ourselves? How do we empower the next generation? I’ll say, take a good long look in the mirror and be willing to do the inner work that it takes to feel like the best version of yourself. And whether you realize it or not, that is the gift that you give to every young girl walking this earth. So like, so many women are thinking, but I’m not a mother, but I’m not a teacher. I don’t even work with kids. I would challenge that thinking and say, actually, as a woman walking this earth, you have so much influence. When you’re in the change room and you’re speaking ill of yourself, the young girl next to you is actually hearing you have that conversation with your best friends. So look in the mirror and get comfortable with yourself. Find a way to love yourself and know that that’s everything for our next generation. 

Jaclyn Mellone

You’re leaving me with goosebumps, I love it. Oh, okay, Melody, how can we stay in touch with you? 

Melody Pourmoradi

Absolutely. You guys can check out all the things that are happening in the GiRLiFE world, www.getgirlpower.com. And I’m on Instagram @girlifeempowerment.

Jaclyn Mellone

Amazing. All right. Thank you so, so much. 

Melody Pourmoradi

Thank you. 

Jaclyn Mellone

Can I just say, thank you so much for listening? I don’t think I’m saying it enough, but I love that you are here. If you enjoyed today’s episode, or if you’ve been getting value from this podcast, can you do me a quick favor? Head on over to iTunes and leave a rating and review. When you leave a rating and review, it basically tells iTunes that they need to spread the word and tell more people about this podcast, and I am on a mission to get the word out. I’m so grateful for your support. We want to make sure to shout you out too. So if you do leave a rating and review, keep your eyes and ears open. We will be either shouting out in the podcast or on Instagram Stories.